Whoops I just
broke my first new years’ resolution for 2023: it’s 31st December
and I’m finally starting my reflections for 2024. XD Perhaps I shall try again:
for 2025, I plan to get the post about how I spent my Christmas Eve, Christmas
Day and Boxing Day up right after those days have ended, thus giving me more
time to properly reflect on the year that’s almost was!
2024. Another
year of highs and lows. Let’s stick with the template I’ve used for previous
years to cover this year:
Physically-wise
– last year, I stacked it four times. This year, I’ve stacked it thrice; my
last tumble happened two days ago, so fingers crossed that I can finish this
year without tumbling over again! O_o
Nearly eighteen
years post-brain injury, I’ve more/less accepted that the free, independent
life I once enjoyed isn’t gonna come back. >< *sigh* I can walk (despite
the cruel and unfaithful God’s awful intentions to leave me wheelchair-bound
for life ><) but it’s with a disabled gait and I must wear an orthotic
over my affected left foot if I’m to walk without pain. My less-affected leg
strides out normally, but my affected leg kinda like goes around when taking a
step? I think the word for it’s circumduction.
While the
average Australian’s supposed to get four weeks’ annual leave, I’m only getting
two before blasted physio resumes in 2025. *sigh* Seeing that I was doing
physio all the way up until Christmas Eve, I’m only two days into my
annual leave, so should you be insane enough to suggest I do any stupid
physio/exercise for you, I will (1) stick my finger in my ear and politely
pretend I didn’t hear or (2) stick my finger in my ear and politely pretend
that you don’t exist. XD
Work-wise:
unfortunately, I’ve still not been able to secure properly paid work. When I contacted
Axiom asking could I please resume study (I was doing some Cert 2/4 in
business, with the hope that the qualification could help me secure proper paid
workwork) they said you’ve gotta pay the course fee again since the course has
been upgraded since you first started. Well, stuff that … where does that leave
me? Mother refuses to lemme try any disability employment agency since she
believes I’m too freaking disabled too hold down paid work. >< Sometimes I
can’t help but suspect that she deliberately denies me opportunities and tries
to keep me socially isolated so I’ll forever be dependent on her, despite her
always saying she wants me as independent as possible.
Remember, I’m
willing to do ANYTHING (even wash toilets XD) provided I can do it whilst
seated and it gets me properly paid. With one hand I type approx.. 31WPM. Slow,
I know, considering I used to touch-type approx. 60WPM with both hands
pre-brain injury but it’s at 100% accuracy so not too bad for typing with only
two fingers, hopefully?
Spiritually-wise:
by now, I’ve come to the realisation that if you don’t expect anything, you can’t
be disappointed when absolutely nothing happens. Seriously, what then, when God
doesn’t come through for you?? I’ve probably said this in previous years, but I
really hate how the cruel and unfaithful God’s the only way to heaven, you
know? Society doesn’t work like that. Don’t like your job? Change careers! Don’t
like what you’re studying? Switch degrees! Oh, why can’t religion be like that
too? Honestly, sometimes I wish there was ANY OTHER WAY TO HEAVEN APART FROM God
since I would take it in a second. In a jiffy. In a instant. No looking back. Just
bye God, I’m gonna go follow, go love praise and worship Someone else who
actually gives me a life, a hope and a future, which is what you’ve so cruelly
denied me. But I can’t. I’m stuck with God. *sigh* What can I do but keep on
persevering and hope that God will eventually come through for me …
Sporting-wise:
obviously, one highlight of 2034 was the Olympics! Australia did great this
year! I’m just wondering about that FOURTEEN year-old girl (Arisa Trew? Sth
like that, anyhow) who won GOLD in the what, skateboarding? She’s only in grade
nine but she’s already conquered the world! How will she spend the rest of her
life?
Unfortunately,
the smelly Blues regained the Origin shield this year and finally broke the
hoodoo that hadn’t seen them win at Suncorp Stadium for ages; even worse, the
Broncos didn’t even make the top eight after being grand finalists last
year! *cringe* Hopefully the new coach can lead them to their first premiership
since 2006 but seeing it’s the current NSW Blues coach; I’m worried …
>< XD
Para-table
tennis @ Windsor this year has been awesome, probably because one of the new
coaches is Uncle James, who attends CM at BCAC! Kim often tells me to go play
with him and one thing I’ve learnt from Uncle James is not to rush: I tend to
be an inconsistent server since my serves often go awry and unlike normal
tennis, there’s no fault and second service in table tennis: you do one poor
serve and you’ll lose the point! Lol, and I only found out that Uncle James is
actually Doug’s DAD; how could we have been in the same SG for so long without
me ever realising it?? XD But one cool thing about this year that deserves a
mention in my Reflections for 2024 is that this year, I competed in the State
Games! (I’m giving it capitalisation
just to make it look cooler but for all I know it might actually be just
lowercase, state games. XD) Unlike the other few competitions during the
calendar year, where players are awarded with ribbons, at the state games you
get MEDALS! I won a bronze for singles and the GOLD for doubles; should I wear
them while I’m struggling to walk they clink together and make it sound like I’ve
actually achieved sth! XD
Everything-else-wise:
oh, this year I’ve remembered nineteen dreams, three of which have been FOOD
dreams. Well, one was actually a drink dream. XD I’m looking forward to having
and remembering more dreams next year! Forever grateful that since I’ve been
released from the insane asylum (more commonly known to everyone else as the Brain
Injuries Rehab Unit of the Princess Alexandra
hospital XD) just over 16.5 years ago, the cruel and unfaithful God
doesn’t send me multiple nightmares anymore; hopefully he’s gone to pick on
someone more than He hates me! Sure, God loves us and all that, blah blah blah, but God created whoever invented the
phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ and going by His actions towards me, I can only surmise that He HATES me. Wish
I knew why … like, if He told me ‘twas coz I didn’t read the Bible loud
enough/long enough, I’d try read it louder/longer. If He told me it was because
I didn’t read the Bible loud/long enough, I’d try read it louder/longer. If He
told me that ‘twas coz I didn’t give Him enough offering, I’d try find paid
work and give Him more money. Only God didn’t; He just destroyed my life! He
can’t do that … well, He can and He did, but if He’s really the loving and
compassionate God He boasts about being in the Bible He shouldn’t have. Yet I’m
stuck with Him. *sigh* I can’t jolly well commit apostasy and still expect to
enter heaven once this life’s up. ><
Whoops I’ve
just deviated from my train of thought; getting back on track: well, seeing as
there’s just over thirty minutes until 2025 arrives, I’d better jot down some
new years’ resolutions! Only please note that most resolutions are broken after
like the first week of the new year. XD
Obviously, I’ll
haveta continue working to improve my mobility. Being disabled sucks majorly
but since that’s the lot I’ve been dealt with in this life, I guess I’ve no
other option but to face it head on.
Oh, since it’s
Summer now, hopefully I can ask Peggy to sew up Pijum, and then mother can wash
him, put him out to dry and I can wrap all four limbs around him to sleep
again! I was so upset when Lena discovered a bedbug in my room and mother
promptly binned Pijum, saying he’s probably got bedbugs in his stuffing but I asked
Google, who taught me that infested teddies can be saved after a thorough wash
and soak in the Sun! Only tonight mother was saying no, that she actually needs
to throw things out since after she can’t look after me anymore I’ll haveta go
into care and there won’t be any space for all my soft toys … well, hopefully
she’s just grumpy since it’s past her usual bedtime and toms she’ll come to her
senses, help save Pijum and give him
back to me to sleep with!
Oh,
hopefully I’ll get a chance to practise and improve my public speaking skills next
year! This year I participated in a Toastmasters competition (but either came
second-last/dead last >< XD) only some higher-up said she really liked my
speaking and wants to invite me to be a guest speaker at some conference next
year! Unsure how that works since mother’s forever GOING ON AT ME about what a
BORING person I am, but who knows? Let’s just wait and see!
Righteo, cya
all next year!
Cheers,
Em. ^^
P.S. Next post here … surely a movie
review? I’ve still not done the one for Despicable M 4 yet, even though I’ve
seen other movies since!
P.P.S.
Apologies for any mistakes found; it’s past 11:45pm and I’ve gotta stop editing
and publish it, else I’ll miss 2025’s arrival! XD
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