Heylo one and all! Wow, suddenly it’s almost mid-December;
gosh, hasn’t this year flown by! How has your year been? Hope you and your
family have enjoyed 2014!
My mother has always wanted to visit Tasmania;
she’s heard the scenery down there’s absolutely stunning. Me, to be honest, I
couldn’t care less. You show me a pretty flower? Sure, it’s beautiful. Next!
What, you mean you want to stay here for thirty minutes and take photos of said
pretty flower?? Sorry, I guess I have no appreciation for scenery.
We didn’t manage to go down to Tasmania last year because of
some severe bushfires plaguing the state, but this year, mother tried again and
her wish was granted: we went down to Tasmania for a week! My reason for
wanting to go down to Tasmania
was quite different to my parents’ reason, however.
See, over my demented left ankle and calf, I wear a funny
little yellow boot. Called an AFO for short, it enables me to walk for short
distances; without it, I seriously wouldn’t be able to walk. This boot was made
for me by a guy who comes from Tasmania,
and he told me that all Tasmanians have two heads!
“Sure, where’s your extra head, then?” I challenged him.
“Well, obviously, I had the extra head amputated before I
came up to Brisbane to work; how
could I work with you staring at my extra head?” was his reply.
This guy’s son corroborates this story with him, but I was
determined to visit Tasmania and
find out the reason why I didn’t see two heads on all the Tasmanians!
The first woman I asked just laughed and said, “Oh, we all
had the extra heads amputated in like 2006/2007, coz it was too annoying having
to carry an extra head around everywhere.”
The second person I asked was a Cantonese waiter who was
serving my parents and me one night when we were having dinner at a Chinese
restaurant; when I asked him why the Tasmanians didn’t have two heads, he only
shrugged, laughed and said, “How would I know? I was born in Hong Kong
with only one head before coming to Tasmania
to work with all the two-headed people!”
Well, fine. So I found one more lady and told her, “Think
carefully about your answer, because I will let it be the be all and end all of
my research: why don’t I see two heads on all the Tasmanians?” This lady gave
me a perfect answer! “Oh, we have the extra head amputated off when they’re
still babies,” she explained, “so that way, when they grow up, they won’t
haveta remember the pain of the amputation.” So now I know! XD
This year, my birthday fell on a Thursday; actually, the
Thursday that coincided with my fortnightly Garden City shopping trip!
Nowadays, mother restricts me to only having a very little ice cream on
Wednesdays; whenever I have a shopping trip on Thursday, I ask mother if I can
please delay my ice cream night for a single cone on Thursday. Really, I just
like to try a free flavour before choosing an actual flavour for my ice cream!
Mother had kindly said yes, so that Thursday, I’d gone to the shop, tried one
flavour then picked another flavour. As the lady was reaching for the ice
cream, I asked her, “a big scoop please; it’s my BIRTHDAY today!” She stopped,
looked at me and asked, “Really?” when I nodded, she said, “Choose another
flavour, then.” Score, my first double scoop ice cream cone ever, only for the
prize of a single cone! I immediately had a photo taken of my cone, and several
months later, before Garbo underwent extension renovations, this same lady came
out to tell me that they’d be closing down. Recognising her, I dug through my
mobile, pulled up the photo of my double scoop ice cream and I and showed it to
her.
“Oh, I remember you now,” the woman laughed. “You were so
happy. XD
Nowadays, my life is consumed by physio. Yes, you may read:
I have no life. >< I am constantly terrified that I will fall over and
seriously injure myself. Yes, I am aware that the few times I fall over each
year, I usually just land on my backside, and you know, fat butt, good
cushioning! XD Only I’m also terrified that my next fall might be a really bad
one and that I may seriously injure myself. My physio, who knows this, one day
decided that for me, the new f-word was ‘fall’. “You’re not allowed to swear in
physio, Em,” she commanded me. “I don’t want to hear the word ‘fall’ from your
lips ever again.” So I went about working hard during my physio session. When
it drew to a close, my physio teacher looks up at me. “What’s the f-word, Em?”
she asks me.
“You mean I can swear?”
“Sure, go ahead. I’m giving you permission just this once.
What’s the f-word?” Jess replies.
Firstly, I check to see all the other patients have gone.
Yes, they have. Next, I check to make sure that mother isn’t back yet. No, she
isn’t. All clear, then.
I look up at Jess and grin cheekily. “The f-word is …” I
emphasise rather loudly, “F*UCK!”
“Em!” my teacher yelps with shock, before immediately
bursting into laughter. I join in, and after we finish laughing our heads off,
I reassure her, “Look, I promise I usually try never to swear out aloud, but
you gave me direct permission to; I even double checked!” I swear (no pun
intended), it was the most fun I’ve ever had using bad language! XD
One more highlight for me this year was attending my high
school ten year reunion! It’s hard to believe that one whole DECADE has passed
since I graduated from high school; cripes, I’m feeling ancient now! Originally,
I’d been terrified that I would’ve forgotten everyone’s names, but to my
enormous relief, once I saw a face, the name would immediately come flashing
back to me, phew! I even enjoyed a new alcoholic beverage: vodka with orange
juice! XD
Anyways, I’d just like to take the time to wish you all the
very best in what you’re doing now, be it study/work/family life. May all that
you’re working hard on now continue to go well for you, and may whatever you’ve
just started bring you every triumph. Personally, I’ve had a very successful
year: I haven’t fallen flat on my butt, what with my atrocious walking balance,
this year yet! I’ve had three close shaves: first, when I tried to walk down
the stairs from our church’s main hall, I fell backwards, but luckily, Kwany
caught me; secondly, once when I was walking to the Springwood Fasta Pasta but
tripped over my untied shoelaces; luckily, Julz caught me (and you can bet now
that every time before I stand up now I check to see both my laces are done
up!) and thirdly, one night I somehow tripped forward and smacked onto the
tiled floor (got myself an awful bruise on my right knee for that), but I can
happily say I haven’t fallen flat on my butt even once this year! Alas, I
honestly don’t believe that I’m good enough to get through the entire year
without falling flat on my butt at least once, but when that happens, I can at
least congratulate myself on the fact that at least I lasted all the way until
mid/late December before finding the floor!
Wishing you and your family all the best for 2015~ Personally,
I cannot wait until the Despicable Me minion movie arrives sometime around June;
I believe everyone who knows me even vaguely knows about the complete obsession
I have for those little yellow minions! XD All the best for the year that is to
come, and I hope that we will be able to stay in contact!
Cheers,
Em. ^^
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