Lol, I must be getting old and demented: the year before
last, I wrote that I distinctly remembered sitting down to write my reflections
on 2012 before 2013 arrived, but aiya, now that 2014’s almost over, I must
sheepishly confess that I don’t remember setting down to pen (well, type XD) my
reflections on 2013! XD
Firstly, I will acknowledge that I’m feeling pretty
depressed: see, every year, around 9:30pm, I hike upstairs to my former bedroom
with my favourite teddy and have a lie on my upstairs bed to reflect on the
year that has almost gone; around 10:45pm, I come back downstairs to write my
reflections for that year, then at about 11:50pm, call the parents awake and we
all sit on the couch to welcome the new year in together. This year, however,
mother begs out of this, complaining of a headache. I suggested to her how
about she takes two Panadol and have a lie down; at 11:50pm I’ll call her and see if she’s feeling better. If
she is, she can come downstairs and celebrate the New Year in! Alas, mother was
feeling particularly self-centered and refused; dad’s already gone upstairs to
join mother, meaning it’ll probably just be me welcoming in the New Year with
my favourite teddy … I also had one whole hour less to reflect on 2014 coz
mother was like, “If you’re not coming downstairs now, you can do it yourself
coz I’m going to sleep now.” But hey, I’ll just haveta try my best to keep a
good attitude and see in the new year with just my most precious teddy for
company, yeah? :o)
Physically-wise: well, obviously, if you met me for the
first time, the first thing you’d notice about me is that I’m very disabled.
This year, I trialled CIMT, or constraint
induced movement therapy, for two weeks. CIMT
is when your functional hand gets tied behind your back and your affected hand
gets to do everything for the agreed period of time. When my physio first
suggested I do it, I said I’d try, but on two conditions: that one, I be
allowed to wipe with my functional hand after toilet trips and two, that I be
allowed to wash with my functional hand during showers, unless my physio was
willing to pay the water bill for me! Luckily, the physio agreed, and I did
this frustrating therapy for two weeks; funnily enough, it ended the same night
as the FX destress night and I attended it feeling super-relieved that I’d
completed two weeks of this stressful therapy! XD
Work wise: For me, this has been another frustrating year. I
know I mentioned last year that I’d given up on returning to tertiary studies
and was instead focusing on finding a paid job; remember, I’m willing to try my
hand at ANYTHING (even wash toilets XD) as long as I can do it sitting down and
it gets me paid. Currently, I am registered with a disability employment
agency, but seriously, they are USELESS. >< When I return to see them
early next year, I will first need to visit centrelink and apply for my THIRD
JCA (Job Capacity Assessment) ; that’s how totally incompetent they are!
>< I had a little side job doing some editing work for a church brother
who technically already has very good English, but because he grew up in Hong Kong
before coming over to Australia, there are just minor points I can help him
improve with his English grammar. For that, I get a little money and the title
‘editor’! Unfortunately, this year he’s been busy with helping his wife getting
settled in Australia and hasn’t written anything at all to help him edit,
meaning I don’t think I’ve had any income this year. That’s not good, because I
don’t really want to be in the position where I have to ask mother for more
cash next year just so I can buy her and dearest dad presents for their next
wedding anniversary! ><
Sporting-wise: this was also a sad year for two reasons.
Firstly, the mighty Maroons finally went down to the smelly Blues in the
Origin. >< Never mind, I will console myself with the fact that (1) we’d
won EIGHT CONSECUTIVE YEARS (a record; the last streak lasted only five years)
and (2) the last time the smelly Blues won, neither the iphone nor twitter had
been invented yet. XD Secondly, the sporting world was rocked by the death of
poor Phillip Hughes. I’ve said he was lucky because he wasn’t struck down till
he was like twenty-five (the cruel and unfaithful God so wantonly destroyed my
life with the disabling brain tumour shortly before I turned twenty) but I’m
more lucky than him in that I’m still alive to tell the tale, whereas the poor
man is now six feet under … well, to end on a more positive note, Benny’s
returning to the Broncos next year; I know both Ms. Wriggle :P and Uncle Colbert
reckon he’s too old to make any difference, but hey, I’m hoping he can bring a
premiership back to the Broncos!
Spiritually-wise: come Feb. the 3rd, 2015, it’ll
have been eight years since the cruel and unfaithful God so wantonly destroyed
my life with the disabling brain tumour, and almost eight years later, I’m
still waiting for Him to tell me what it was that I did/didn’t do that was so
bloody sinful that He found it just reason to totally destroy my life. God won’t
tell me, and my point is, He can’t! I mean, He can and He has, but my point is
if He really is the faithful and loving God that He so claims to be in the Bible,
he shouldn’t! >< Earlier this year, Pastor Chong asked me had I
considered baptism, and that there were other baptism methods other than the
full immersion practised at BCAC (like how Reverend Lam just sprinkled some
water on Leanne’s grandma’s head instead of having her walk down into the pool
and get submerged), but I told him that I wasn’t planning on getting baptised
until either (1) God fully healed me, or (2) He let me know exactly what it was
that I did/didn’t do that was so sinful, it made Him totally destroy my life so I could go
about rectifying that. *sigh* sometimes I wonder: does God sit up in heaven and
gloat to all his worshippers, all his angels that aren’t aware of the depth of
his cruelty and unfaithfulness, “You see that female down thee? Her life was
good, you know, she was studying hard at uni, she’d just gotten her first paid
job and she’d recently achieved her driver’s licence. Then I decided that she
pissed Me off, so I completely and totally ruined her life. Now, she has no
hope, nor any future. Screw Jeremiah 29:11; that’s a complete lie. Aren’t I
powerful? I rule!” Seriously, I sometimes think that’s what He does up in
heaven … while all my peers are getting married and having families, I’m just
stuck here, disabled, useless and discarded by the cruel and unfaithful God. I
mean, I only hate Him because He hated me first; it’s because of His hatred
that I am good at hating, that I know how to hate. If you check out this blog,
earlier this year I wrote a post titled Apostasy; you may wanna give that a
read.
Politically-wise: I’m the first to admit, I don’t follow the
politics of Australia;
I generally have zero idea whatsoever what’s going on. XD Who’s our prime
minister? Tony abbott? And maybe our premier’s Campbell Newman … seriously, I
know next to nothing about politics; when it comes time for voting at
elections, I vote for the first politician that sends his/her flyer to my
letterbox, because I think they show foresight to get ahead early. I know zilch
about their policies. XD
Everything-else-wise: Well, firstly, I’m gonna be
super-relieved that I haven’t managed to fall flat on my butt this year, not
even once! I’ve had three close shaves, and the last danger for me to overcome
will be making my way over to the couch by my lonesome just before midnight without falling over, but if I can do
that, I can proudly say I honestly made it through the year without even one
fall! Now, wouldn’t that be a dream …
Concerning afternoon tea, well, this year mother has
gleefully restricted me to half-toasties, on the account that she thinks I’m a
fat pig. However, I’m super-happy to note that I managed to get myself one full
toastie several times this year! ^^ like I say, the way to my heart is through
my stomach; feed me and I will love you forever. XD
There really isn’t much more to reflect about, I don’t
think, so I’ll bid a very fond farewell to 2014 and welcome in 2015 with open
arms!
Cheers,
Em. ^^
P.S. Next post here … think I wanna write a post about lei,
the chinese shifu whom I get a massage from like once a week. It’s funny! XD
anyways, until then~
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