christmas post (2011)

Does everyone remember the naughty Christmas carols they learnt back in primary school? I can only remember two:
The first one goes to the tune of jingle bells: jingle bells, jingle bells, Santa Claus is dead. Teddy bear, teddy bear, shot him in the head. Barbie doll, Barbie (hey, I just realised that ‘Barbie’s a proper noun and needs to be capitalised XD) doll tried to save his life, but GI Joe from Mexico STABBED him with a knife! XD
The second one I only learnt last year, and goes to the tune of Joy to the World: joy to the world, the teacher’s dead. We barbecued her head! We flushed it down the dunny, it was so very funny, and round and round it goes, and round and round it goes, and round, and round and round it goes! XD
Like we do every year, we attended church. At first, I wasn’t planning to sing any of the songs out aloud, coz I was still mega-grumpy that the parents hadn’t lemme attend the SHINE fellowship Christmas party last night, but this morning, I decided not to be petty and sing everything. It’s not like the words hold any meaning for me, anyway. I’m just singing random words.
Anyways, this morning, when mother came to dig me up, Oem, Voem and John Doe2 all flew at her to wish her a very merry Christmas (read, I threw them at herXD) only, I got too excited, and almost threw poor voem into the commode chair! Luckily, mother caught him. “Don’t do that again!” she scolded me. If poor Voem actually landed into the potty, I’d have to throw him out!”
Poor Voem was terrified and wailed his eye :P out, but Oem eye-kissed him, then John Doe2 cuddled him, and finally, mother soothed him, so everything was okay. 
For breakfast this morning, mother gave me half a mini croissant and I drank one mug of cold Horlicks. Mother also forced me to drink one entire large mug of water.
After breakfast, dad tootled us off to church.
I did sing everything during service today. Worship was led by aunty Amy Cham; the choir sang also.
After aunty Melody Choi did the bible reading, Reverend Lam delivered a Christmas sermon. Smoky jie jie was his interpreter. Both mother and I snuck out to the toilet once.
When the sermon was over, we all headed downstairs for the luncheon!
Now, I’m slightly confused about the food restrictions for these luncheons, coz for the previous luncheon, the parents told me that each person was entitled to one plate, but then only lemme eat two-thirds a plateful! This time around, I fared slightly better, with ¾ a plateful. But I was slightly curious as to why uncle Ching and aunty Shuk Lai each got at least TWO platefuls. Personally, I reckon that it’s something to do with the fact that the parents don’t want me to gain any weight and so, always heavily restrict anything I try to shove into my mouth. XD
Anyways, after one more loo trip, dad tootles us home, I plop online and mother heads upstairs into pigland.
Around two hours later, dad forces me off, saying that I’m not allowed to stare at the computer screen for too long and must watch television for one hour before returning online. Fair enough. So I use the loo once for two tinkles, then sit down and watch this movie on channel nine about dog sledding! It’s got real dogs, with voices! XD
Mother comes down to feed me one chunk of juicy seedless watermelon and to smear my face with aloe vera. Looking at the clock, I realise one hour has already passed, and ask for permission to return online. It’s granted, but not for long, coz mother soon demands that I shower. *sigh* poor ela gets forced to scrub various body parts at least forty times, and I also wash my hair.
Afterwards, I dry and rekit myself. Mother finishes with my footwear then I return online, just as Uncle Slam arrives for dinner, soon followed by Ronnie jie jie, uncle Cyras and Aunty Mel.
Dad calls dinner. We have rice tonight, but also smoked salmon, ham and lettuce. I passed on the prawns and white wine.
After dinner, I use the bathroom once before returning online.
Only suddenly, something short circuits and everything flicks off! >< luckily, I have already published my blog post and do not lose any information. 
Around 9pm, I use the bathroom once more.
Gosh, the adults are really ‘cheung hei’! (say ‘long air’ in canto) it’s almost 10pm, but they’re still yakking! XD
As for me, I’m looking forward to tomorrow, because (1) it’s the Boxing Day sales, but even more importantly, it’s (2) mother’s birthday, which also means (3) I’ll get to see what Santa brought me this year! XD
Meaning I probably won’t have the time to come blog toms, but I’ll try putting my Boxing Day post up on the 27th, okies? Until then!
Cheers,
Em. ^^