reflections on being 23!

heylo! i'm using uncle slam's laptop here! we're over his and anna's place for dinner, aunty a's here too.
but this is my last night as a twenty-three year old; here are my reflections on what life was like for me in my twenty-third year.
firstly, being twenty-three, physically, wasn't any different to being twenty-one or twenty-two. i'm happy to say that i'm slightly better @ walking (meaning my balance has improved and i'm less likely to fall over @ any given second).
actually, it's now sunday - my birthday! :D anyways, where was i?
i still live in constant fear - every time i sit down, 99.9% of me fast forwards and jumps to, "oh no, soon mother will come and gleefully FORCE :( me to walk here/there ..." but recently, one of my carers/life coaches/support workers/whatever you call them nows :P taught me about guardian angels and how everyone has one, and you should talk to them about your fears. so i've been doing that every night.
the main event that occurred in my 23rd year of life was the death of my most beloved grandmother through lung cancer. >< i still miss her desperately everyday, but have stopped crying myself to sleep about it coz i realise it won't bring her back.
i still struggle with walking and using the left side of my body; sometimes i wonder, "will i be like this for the rest of my life?" but i'm still clinging to my belief that god will turn his hatred of me onto one of the gazillions of ppl also in the world and i'll be left to recover the shattered shards of my life - and i cannot wait for that day!
what else? physio consumes huge portions of my life. :P
hopes for the year ahead: as always, i aim to improve my physical abilities this year; i.e. walk better, don't fall over so often, use my left arm more, etc. i've learnt that it's okay to dream, but that it's just plain stupid to dream too fancifully. oh! i definitely DON'T plan to fall to my death this year! really, i'm just relieved that mother no longer believes i'll die before my 30th birthday - that leaves me free to achieve my target age of 100! :D i've always said i'll go happily the night after i receive my letter from the monarch of england congratulating me on reaching one century, but not before that! :P
well, i'm officially turning twenty-four in just over two hours! i'll be rejoining the 'th' family! you know, how twenty-one's your 21ST, twenty-two's your 22nd AND TWENTY-THREE'S YOUR 23rd - well, soon, i'll be in my 24TH year!
hopefully this'll be a great year for me. :)
cheers,
em. ^^
P.S. next post should come toms - i'll be posting about my bday bash i'm having tonight! :D