Usually, I post my birthday wish list on the 1st
of March, reminding everyone what presents I’d like for my upcoming birthday on
the 20th, but you won’t believe this: the bloody computer suddenly
DIED on the first and wouldn’t turn on! >< Hence sorry this comes six
days late, but better late than never, eh? Actually, thanks to mother who
immediately bought a new computer and installed it! I’ve not had time to
customise it yet though; apparently, it’s 4:27am in the morning when actually
it’s just after 1:25pm in the afternoon. XD Anyhow, here’s what I’d like for my
birthday, please!
(1)
Books
– without fail, I will always be asking for books first. I’ve always loved
reading and always will, despite how shamefully slowly I read nowadays post
brain injury. The cruel and unfaithful God has taken away enough in my life
already; I’ll be damned before I’ll let Him take away my love of reading too! ><
My favourite genres are fantasy, science fiction (I’m a Trekkie! ^^) and
historical fiction, although I’m willing to give anything bar Mills and Boon a
crack. XD Oh, if you read this, Madam Hippo, I’d like the newest book by
Phillip Pullman, please! I bought the first one when I came down to Sydney to
watch you become famous and a poster of the second one was on the wall of that
fancy bookstore where your book launch was!
(2)
Teddy
– the other item I’ll always include in my wish lists. All my teddies are
loved, and all have names, although I’ll sheepishly admit to owning a John Doe
and a John Doe 2. XD Actually, I recently saw Ant Man 2 and I want a plush VEB,
please!! Unsure why I’ve not been able to find one online yet, but I suppose
it’s because my search engine using skills are inferior; if I can think of it,
surely someone’s marketed it already? Veb’s awesome; how many holes do you
have? XD
(3)
Pet
– unfortunately, I will forever be horribly guilty of the manslaughter
(fishslaughter? XD) of poor Silver and Bronze back during the Winter of 2008. I
honestly was unaware that goldfish are so feeble that they need a heater in
their tank to keep them warm lest they perish from the cold! But it’s been 1.5
DECADES since they went up to heaven and surely, I can be trusted with a live
pet again?? If not, I am still waiting for my PET ROCK, Luke MacCourt!! When
you first told me about them, I thought you were just pulling my leg but when I
went home and Googled ‘pet rocks’ I actually discovered entire WEBPAGES devoted
to them! You don’t need to give them food and water like real living pets, but
you can give them like different textures to sit on, etc. Luke, I understand
you’re very busy being a dad and all; your own dad did tell me that you’d at
least made a start on my Minion-themed pet rock by painting it yellow but come
on, I’ve been waiting for YEARS … XD
(4)
Outdoors
Electric Wheelchair – when the NDIS first came in, a church physio uncle
recommended my parents get me a new electric wheelchair because the funding
scheme for them would end soon. Once this new electric wheelchair arrived, I
very excitedly asked mother was she gonna book our plane tickets back to Hong
Kong like, tonight? See, I’ve not been back to Hong Kong for more than ONE
DECADE to visit all my beloved family and awesome friends because while in HK,
mother and I usually live with her younger sister. Aunty Lai lives on the top
of a very steep hill; while in my manual wheelchair, I can wheel and steer
myself around just fine when on level ground (however slowly) because I have
one more-or-less functioning hand and one more-or-less functioning foot to
accomplish that with. Unfortunately, I’m not physically strong enough to wheel
myself uphill with, hence for those three weeks when I was last back in Hong
Kong, that task fell to my dearest dad and as a result, he hurt his back.
That’s when he decided I’d not return to Hong Kong anymore; the parents would
take turns going by themselves. You cannot believe how PISSED I was when mother
very smugly replied no, since it’s an INDOORS wheelchair only, you’re still
stuck here while your dad and I take turns going by ourselves. In that case,
I’ve absolutely zero idea why the parents got that electric wheelchair for me,
because it’s not like I ever get to use it! Pretty sure I’ve used it fewer
times than I have fingers on one hand; what a complete waste of money >< Think
it just sits uncharged and unloved alone in the garage … I’m not even sure how
much an outdoors electric wheelchair would cost but if it’s very expensive,
maybe several people could chip in together to buy me one? Honestly, nearly
more than *anything* I wanna go back to Hong Kong to see all my beloved family
and awesome friends …
(5)
Frosties
– according to me (and since I’m typing this, whatever I say goes XD) every
wishlist needs @ least one food item. I’ll stick with what I’ve asked for
during the last several years; someone please get me a box of my favourite
unhealthy cereal! Usually, mother only feeds me healthy stuff like Weet-Bix,
All-Bran and Plus but hey I like my unhealthy food too. Yeah, yeah, everything
in moderation, blah blah blah … XD, I’d rather catch up with people over a meal
rather than receive material gifts but since the parents (mother particularly) are
so hellbent on keeping me socially isolated, how about you contact me first? The
parents won’t lemme ask anyone are they free to catchup over a meal for my
birthday, but they certainly can’t keep you from asking me am I free! So how
about you please ask me first and then I’ll ask them?
(6)
Cheesecake
– back for my 30th birthday, when I’d asked mother please could I buy
a birthday cake for my birthday, she’d snapped no way! She hadn’t gotten one
for her last birthday so why should I get one? Only when I’d wailed at her that
this wasn’t just any birthday but my special DECADE birthday and surely,
she wasn’t AWFUL enough to DENY me a BIRTHDAY CAKE did she relent and lemme buy
one little *slice* of cake. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for friends who
understood the importance of special decade birthdays and the need for cake, I’d
have gone without! O_o The next year, after ensuring that mother had a birthday
cake for her last birthday did I try asking again for buying a birthday cake. That
year, mother refused me again – this year, she said, she was gonna MAKE me a
birthday cake! Apparently when you buy one all these unhealthy things like
preservatives and what not are added to it? Don’t ask me; I’m not a
nutritionist! Besides, I’ve got undoubtedly inferior tastebuds; don’t expect me
to notice the different ingredients! Anyways, I ask mother please for a
cheesecake, and after I’ve let her gleefully boot me off to bed on the night
before my birthday, mother sets off cooking in the kitchen. On my birthday
night itself, after dinner, we all sit around the dining table and small slices
of my birthday cake are served. We all tuck in, before I venture some feedback.
“Um, mother, this tastes interesting … tell me, aren’t cheesecakes meant to be
sweet? Why does this one taste SALTY?!”
Mother looks caught out
for a second, before she doubles over with laughter and howls her head off. “Oh,
I was hoping your inferior tastebuds wouldn’t notice the difference!” She
laughs her head off. “See, the recipe says to use UNSALTED butter but since I was
already so tired when I started making your cake last night, I accidentally
added SALTED butter instead! I was hoping your inferior tastebuds wouldn’t
notice the difference, but you caught me out! BAHAHA!!” XD So, yeah: could
someone please get me a cheesecake from The Cheesecake Shop for my birthday
this year? The last cake I bought from there was for my 24th
birthday; more than ONE DECADE ago! Else there’s apparently another place that
sells cheesecakes somewhere near Springwood? Actually, I don’t really care where
my birthday cake comes from, as long as I get one and as long as it’s not made
by mother. XD
(7)
Minions
– I’m presuming that the Despicable Me franchise has ended, after three
Despicable Me movies and two Minions movies; after all, all good things must
come to an end. Will someone please find me something new to be obsessed over? Until
then, I’ll remain besotted with these yellow, jellybean-shaped, hopelessly
incompetent little creatures. Pretty sure even the youngest littlelies at BCAC (my
home church) knows that Aunty Em loves the Minions! So: more Minions please;
BA-NA-NA!!
Hmm … seven things seem
plenty enough to ask for; I’m not a spoilt brat like Dudley Dursley who chucked
a tanty until his silly parents got him like thirty-eight presents! Just that I
reserve the right to add to this list should any other items come to mind~ Again,
apologies that this post comes nearly one week late, but now that it’s been
published, once you read this post, you are now DUTY-BOUND to go secure
birthday presents for me! Get it? Got it?? Good! XD
Cheers,
Em. ^^
P.S. Next post here … prolly my
Birthday Reflections for the year … unless I can find the time to write my
movie review on Ant Man2! Until then~
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