2022 Reflections

Well, I suppose I’m showing a slight improvement on last year by starting my reflections for 2022 on the second-last day of the year considering last year I didn’t start them until seven hours before the new year arrived! XD So: 2022 in review:

Physically-wise: I can’t be helped but be constantly be freaked out that I’ll fall. See, the cruel and unfaithful God has cruelly left me so fricking disabled that were I to fall, I’d not be able to get myself back upright. >< Alas, I’d just be stuck where I’d fallen flat on my butt and wait for someone to wander over and then extend an arm and asked to be helped up. Luckily, I’ve only fallen once this year; mother wasn’t around to bag me out for it and I don’t think the friends I was with told mother so unless the UQ physio teacher I emailed told mother about my fall (the last one did hence why I emailed a different teacher this time XD) hopefully she doesn’t know about this one.  Was gonna tell here when I got to the sofa for the NYE countdown but mum’s apparently already hit the sack; I suppose I’ll see her next year. XD Actually, I had one ,ore kinda-slip: I was sitting @ the computer chair and kinda just slid off the chair? Could hear mother doing sth in the kitchen and realised she’d totally bag me out for being on the floor if she randomly wandered over; I quickly went from my bum to four point to two point then pulled myself up using the computer bench, found my chair and sat back down before mother realised. XD Right now I’m still enjoying my two weeks’ annual leave from blasted physio, so should anyone be stupid enough to suggest I do any exercise for them, I will (1) stick my finger in my ear and politely pretend that I didn’t hear you or (2) stick my finger in my ear and politely pretend that you don’t exist. XD

Work-wise: this reminds me, I’ve gotta e-mail Axiom College and ask them may I please resume study. Since I’m disabled, some staff member told me he’d keep giving me extensions provided I submitted one subject a month; I must’ve forgotten to one month because when I tried to login again I couldn’t! >< I emailed them saying um, sorry? And someone said he’d try get me reconnected so I could resume study so I sent him my details but then I never heard back from him. Seriously, as long as ity gets me properly paid and I can do it seated I’ll do ANYTHING. Even wash toilets (although unkind mother jeers @ me that I’d not be hired to do even that since I’d wash toilets seated too slowly XD).

Spiritually-wise: Feb the 3^rd, 2022, marked FIFTEEWN YEARS since the cruel and unfaithful God totally destroyed my life with the brain injury. Have all but given up hope that he’ll ever restore my life to me, and even if he did (and lets face it, the sky will fall in tomorrow before that happens *sigh*) I can never get back the 15.75+ years He’s already so cruelly taken away. What really peeves  me off’s that I’m stuck with Him. Society isn’t like that: e.g. don’t like what you’re studying? Switch degrees! Don’t like your job? Find new work! Oh, how I wish I could commit apostasy and tell the cruel and unfaithful God, “Bye, God. I don’t like how You’ve treated me, so I’m gonna find someone new to go worship. Someone who’ll actually gimme a hope, a life and a future, which is what you’ve so cruelly denied me. but I can’t, because God’s the only way to heaven! *sigh* As long as God understands I only hate because He hated me first and that I’m good @ hating because He first hated me. I never hated anyone until He showed me how much He hated me; why He couldn’t tell me what it was that I’d done/didn’t do that pissed Him off that He thought it just to totally destroy my life for? If He’d done that, I could’ve worked to be better! You know, sing hymns louder? Longer? Read Bible out aloud longer? Louder? Give more offering? Obviousdly, I can’t give any offering now that the cruel and unfaithful God’s left me so fricking disabled that I don’tr even have a steady income …

Sporting-wise: yay that the mighty Maroons regained the Origin shield! Bragging rights are mine this year; everytime I come into contact with my naughty carer Karina who GLOATED how the smelly Blues had won the Origin last year, I take turns asking her, “Who won the Origin this year?” And “Who lost the Origin this year?” XD

The Socceroos also did great in the World Cup this year! I mean, obviously we didn’t win, but we got further than we’d ever been before!

As for the Broncos, oh dear. Bring back the glory days of 2006, when we last won the premiership!

Everything else wise: sadly, I didn’t get any food dreams this year. Actually, I’ve actually not remembered many dreams full stop! That’s okay: I much prefer having no dreams than the horrific nightmares that the cruel and unfaithful God plagued me multiple times nightly with back when I was imprisoned in the insane asylum (more commonly known to everyone else as the Brain Injuries Rehab Unit Of The Princess Alexandra hospital.

This year we farewelled Queen Elizabeth II, Britain's longest-serving monarch. She's the only British that I've ever known and that my parents have ever know; indeed, my most beloved maternal grandmother was only like in her teens/early twenties when she ascended the throne! Both mother and my Aunty Nga don't like King Charles because of how he treated Diana when he had an affair with Camilla, but I watched the first speech he gave as King and thought 'twas quite a good one!

Oh, one highlight of my year was attending our SG retreat! Some lived in the apartment while others lived in the townhouse. I was in the apartment and starting to get ready for bed at 9:45pm (the usual time I must let mother gleefully boot me off to bed) when the call comes from the townhouse: hey, wanna come over and play boardgames? I look over to my carer Annettwe for permission; she says go ahead, I’ll wait up for you. Had great fun playing games; didn’t get back to the apartment till after midnight and didn’t hit the sack till just after 12:30! Slept so soundly I missed the raucous cries of C1, C2 and N (because small children must run around noisily every morning? XD); I didn’t wake until Annette gently shook my shoulder and said “Emily, wake up. It’s time for breakfast.” Instantly knew that I’d not had enough sleep and it took two Saturday mornings of 10am sleep-ins before I felt human again. XD Annette was also a champ and lemme use Sparkless3 (my manual wheelchair) while inside the apartment; both parents bagged me out for not walking around like everyone else but like I told Annette, I liked being able to set the table and clear the dishes before and after meals; I could actually help while inside my manual wheelchair and awesome Annette replies don’t worry, you need a break too. Phew!

With less than twenty minutes till 2023 arrives, I’d better wrap this up. Am I supposed to make new year’s resolutions? As always, I’ve gotta consistently strive at improving my physical abilities and becoming more independent. Physio remains the bane of my existence but I suppose I’ve just gotta live with it. A hated necessity … there’s some phrase it’s called but it’s not coming to mind, prolly coz it’s almost midnight and this is the only day of the year that I can stay up. Will read this over once quickly then publish before looking for the 2023 countdown; Happy New Year, everyone!

Cheers,

Em. ^^

P.S. Next post here … uhh, my Birthday Wishlist in March? Else a movie review!