XMas Wishlist 2021

 Oh, Santa. Usually I’d greet you exuberantly, ask have you had a good year and then tell you all the presents I’m hoping you’ll bring me for Christmas this year because I’ve honestly tried my hardest to be well-behaved but I’m gonna haveta try for third time lucky this year because for the past two years you’ve like totally ignored me and brought me hardly any presents! >< XD

 

Is it because I’ve never really believed in you? Sure, I know the parents and I moved to Brisbane when I was only 3.5 years old, but even at that tender age I remember thinking, sure. Santa climbs in through the chimney. But how does he get from the top floor to the floor under that and deliver presents? Then to the floor under that, to deliver more presents, all the way to the ground floor? Nah, guess Santa doesn’t really exist. XD Still, I’ve faithfully typed out Christmas wishlists (the red squiggly line beneath that word tells me it’s actually two words but I reckon it looks just fine being one XD) to you I’m pretty sure every single year since the year before the cruel and unfaithful God totally destroyed my life with the disabling brain tumour …

So. Here’s what I’m hoping you’ll bring me this year:

(1)               Books – ever since I learnt how to read, I’ve been a total bookworm. It matters not that the cruel and unfaithful God has left me so freaking slow at reading it takes me nearly one whole month to plough through just one book; the fact remains that I’ve always loved reading and am determined never to let Him take away my love of reading too because hasn’t He, in His infinite cruelty, taken away enough already?? My favourite genres are fantasy, science fiction and historical fiction but I’m willing to give anything a try bar Mills and Boon. Oh, and nothing from the horror genre either; yeah, I’m a wuss. XD

(2)               Teddy – the second item always found in the two wishlists created every year. All my teddies are named (although I will sheepishly confess to having a John Doe and a John Doe 2 XD) and all are loved. Doesn’t haveta be a bear, any kinda soft toy will do. Oh! Someone please get me a PEARL MILK TEA soft toy!! Ellz, you shared a photo of you buying like three large milk teas from some Garbo bubble tea place and you get a BUBBLE TEA soft toy; I want one!!! XD Oh, I’d never refuse a delivery of pearl milk tea also! Years and years ago, plastic was discovered in the pearls and everyone went off them for awhile but surely that was like one DECADE ago! Otherwise any new teddy will do; one can never have enough teddies~

(3)               Outdoors electric wheelchair – this can be the expensive thing I’m asking for, Santa. I’m actually not even sure roughly how much one would cost, but presumably anything with a working motor doesn’t come cheap? I’ve not been back to Hong Kong to visit any of my beloved family and all my awesome friends since 2012, nearly one DECADE ago. When I was last back in Hong K0ng, mother and I lived with her younger sister, who lives up the top of a steep hill. When in my manual wheelchair, I’m perfectly capable of wheeling and steering myself around on level ground since I’ve got one more/less functioning arm and one more-or less functioning leg (the right side) although I’m pretty slow. However, I’m not physically strong enough to wheel myself uphill. The last time I was in Hong Kong, that task fell to my dearest dad and as a result, he hurt his back. That’s when he decided he and mother wouldn’t take me back to Hong Kong anymore but take turns going by themselves. Several years ago, a church physio uncle recommended that the parents purchase a new electric wheelchair for me, because the old funding scheme was gonna be replaced by the NDIS/something like that.  When the new electric wheelchair arrived, I very excitedly asked mother when was she gonna book our tickets back to HK? Coz see, with this new electric wheelchair, poor dad wouldn’t haveta put out his back having to wheel me up that steep hill to where my aunty lives; I can use the joystick myself and steer myself up! You cannot believe how PISSED I was when mother very smugly told me that no, since it’s only an INDOORS electric wheelchair I’m still stuck in Brisbane while she and my dearest dad took turns going back to Hong Kong without me! Then why the eff did you get it?? It’s not like I’m ever allowed to use the electric wheelchair indoors … nope, it just sits by its lonesome self in the garage, probably uncharged … >< *sigh*

I actually have absolutely zero idea how much an electric wheelchair would cost, but if it’s very expensive, perhaps several people could chip in together and get one for me? Seriously, almost more than *anything* I wanna travel back to Hong Kong and spend time with all my beloved family and awesome friends …

(4) Pet – while I will forever be horribly guilty of the manslaughter of poor Silver and Bronze back in 2008 (I honestly had zero idea that goldfish were so wimpy they needed a heater come Winter in their fish tank lest they freeze to death, even though Brisbane like never reaches zero!) it’s been more than one decade since they went to heaven and surely I can be trusted with a pet again? If people are unwilling to trust me with a live pet again, then someone please find Luke Mac Court for me and let him know I am still waiting for my pet rock!  When he first told me about pet rocks years ago, I thought he was just trying to pull my leg but I tried Googling ‘pet rock’ and there are literally entire WEBPAGES devoted to pet rocks! Like, you can’t give them food and water like you would for normal live pets, but you can give them stuff like different textures to live on! Luke, I understand that you’re very busy being a dad and all and your dad did tell me once that you’d made a start on my pet rock and painted him yellow (so a Minion-themed pet rock), so: I WANT A PET ROCK FOR CHRISTMAS!! XD

(5) Minions – I’m unsure: do Minions count as teddy bears? Surely everyone who knows me is also aware of my total obsession with these yellow, jellybean-shaped hopelessly incompetent little creatures; I can’t get enough of them and I want more! I mean, they’re yellow, jellybean-shaped and, although they try so hopelessly to be bad they are just so totally INCOMPETENT they can’t possibly be evil! My obsession with them with the Minions will probably haveta end after the Minions2 movie hopefully gets released mid/late next year (release was originally scheduled for like June this year but got pushed back one year due to COVID; I didn’t actually mind because that meant one more year where I could be totally obsessed with these creatures! Did you know, even the youngest littlies at BCAC knows that Aunty Em loves the Minions??) because after the Minions2 movie hopefully gets released next June (it was supposed to have come out this June but release date got delayed one year because of COVID) I’m presuming that will signal the end of the Despicable Me and the Minions franchise because I’m pretty sure the very first Despicable Me movie was released around like 2010, more than one DECADE ago! Will haveta find something new to obsess over after the Minions but for now, I’m always looking for more! Did you know, I’ve collected that many Minion figurines (from Happy Meal toys, etc.) that my dearest dad has already built some shelf along the wall near the ceiling to place them all – but it’s already full! XD Please gimme more Minions; BA-NA-NA! 

(6) Nesquik Cereal – my wishlists also contain at least one food item. Could someone please get me a box of Nesquik cereal? Usually, you buy Nesquik in tins and add it into your plain milk to make it flavoured (e.g chocolate, strawberry, etc.) but I’m now pretty sure it’s come out as a box of cereal too and I’d like to try some! Barring that, any box of unhealthy cereal like Frosties or Fruit Loops will do. XD Actually, I’ve heard that now you can even get MILO cereal too! Sure wouldn’t mind trying that also; bird food (what my GP calls All-Bran XD) and Weet-Bix can get a bit boring @ times, you know what I mean? XD

(7) Wild Dreams – that’s the name of the newest album produced by Westlife, my favourite band. I’ve followed them since their inception in 1999; back in 2007 Pole and I had very excitedly bought tickets to see them perform live in Brisbane but at that very same time my idiot brain decided to randomly sprout me a fricking tumour and totally destroyed my life meaning that of course I missed the concert. >< Westlife never came back to Brisbane again to perform and then they like DISBANDED in 2012! >< Finally, they’ve regrouped and have just released a new album; I believe my Aunty Florence in Hong Kong has said she’d buy the album and send over to Australia for me; other than that, their online store sells lotsa Westlife merchandise and I sure wouldn’t mind any of them! Seriously, Westlife are even selling their own FACEMASKS although I’m not that crazy a fan. XD I just love their music, you know? Although when I’m feeling angsty I prefer Linkin Park. XD

(8) Toaster – not just any toaster, mind you. I’m after a toaster that toasts both sides of the bread simultaneously, meaning once it’s popped up you can just remove the toast and eat it. Apparently toasters that toast both sides of the bread simultaneously have been around for ages? In that case, I’m not really why we’re still using one that’s so old whenever I put a slice of the bread into the toaster I’ve gotta get up once, walk to the freezer, remove the loaf of bread, take one slice out, put that into the toaster and turn it on, before sitting down, because I’m seriously not good with just standing. When the toast pops out, mother orders that I get up, walk over to the toaster, turn the bread for the other side to get toasted and turn it on again. Once done, I take another seat, only for mother to order me a THIRD time to stand up, walk over to the toaster and collect my finally fully toasted slice of toast and take it back to the dining table for consumption. Two days ago I asked the question on Facebook and was told by one of my choir friends that toasters that cook both sides of the bread simultaneously have been around for yonks … unsure why the parents haven’t bothered to buy one, then?  But since they’re available, Santa, please get me one for Christmas!!

Hmm … I’m unsure how long Christmas wishlists are meant to be… hopefully asking for eight things doesn’t make me a greedy guts? XD? Guess I’m not too overly materialistic; like, I prefer to catch-up with people over a meal rather than receiving items. But don’t get me wrong, Santa: I’m still hoping you’ll bring me lotsa presents! I’m asking this third time lucky; should you not deliver yet AGAIN I’m considering ditching spending precious time concocting this detailed wishlist because the time I spend detailing out to you what I hope you’ll bring me for Christmas actually eats into my most important two hours of the day for me: the two precious hours I get to spend online everyday! Besides, as to catching up with people over a meal for Christmas, awful mother has already said that she’ll only allow me to eat out with ONE friend. Actually she says that this order comes from dad, but she’s the one who so gleefully enforces it, you know? I’m not really sure why she CONSTANTLY tries to keep me socially isolated; sometimes I can’t help but think it’s so she can jeer @ me that I’ve got no friends anymore. >< *sigh*

So: your duty now, Santa, is to get all your Christmas elves (i.e. all my Facebook friends XD) to read this wishlist and send them out buying Christmas presents for me! I know you can (or I hope you can XD) do it…

Cheers,

Em. ^^

P.S. Next post here: my James Bond movie review, or, if I’m unorganised (probably the latter XD) my Xmas Greetings, which are due out December the 11^th!