Decade Reflections

Whoops I thought the new decade started in 2021 meaning I could pen my decade reflections on Dec 31^st, 2020 but tonight I was watching Seven’s 6pm news bulletin and the news reader was like ‘since the new decade begins tomorrow let’s look at some defining moments in this decade that’s just about to end’ and I’m like, eep instead of just penning my reflections for 2019 I’ve also gotta write my decade reflections tonight also!

So, the decade that is almost was:

2010 – the high of returning to Hong Kong for the first time since the cruel and unfaithful God so wantonly smote me down with the disabling brain tumour and meeting for the first time my little cousin Mickey! See, my poor aunty had suffered two miscarriages and tried IVF once without success when all she ever wanted was to become a mother herself. Can you believe it: she fell pregnant literally the night before the brain tu,our felled me! I’d just gotten home from working a shift @ Woolies; the phone rings and it’s my aunty literally SHRIEKING down the phone that she’s pregnant, she’s pregnant! Mother and I are overjoyed for her, of course, but mother explains since I’ve just gotten home from work and haveta work again tomorrow morning we’ll talk more tomorrow night, okay? Who knew the next morning would see me collapsed in the bathroom and mother ringing the ambulance? 2010 was the first time I’d returned to Hong Kong after suffering the brain injury; in the three weeks we were back, Mickey learnt to call mother ‘yee mah’ and mu dearest dad ‘cheung cheung’. Me: the name’s Emily, brat, but I think that’s too long for you to manage, so just call me ‘Em’?” Mickey: …Um? I’m thinking about smacking him over the head but my aunty comes to his rescue, explaining his mouth hasn’t quite learnt how to form the sound ‘Em’ yet. XD

That high was followed in July by the lowest of all possible lows in July with the passing of my beloved maternal grandma with lung cancer. Back when we’d returned to Brisbane in early February, on that final night I’d stood up in my manual wheelchair to hug her goodbye; for some reason dad decided we’d hugged long enough and so he pushed me back down into the wheelchair and started wheeling me away! What was a disabled twenty-three year old meant to do against a fully capable grown man? I obviously wasn’t strong enough to stop, wheel myself back tomy most beloved grandma and hold her close to me again; all I could do was hope I’d see her again in the very near future. I had absolutely zero idea I’d ever hug her … sometime in June, mother was supervising my shower in the laundry (when I was first released from the insane asylum I had showers in the launy before Home Modifications built the downstairs bathroom for me) when the phone call came through that she’d been hospitalised with pneumonia; mother immediately rushed back to Hong Kng and stayed wither for one month. I didn’t understand how pneumonia could suddenly become third stage lung cancer but when mother arrived home to Brisbane I understood we’d be making one more trip to Hong Kong soon because my most beloved grandma would be leaving this Earth soon … In our last phone conversation ever, I reminder my most beloved grandma did she remember how she taught me the Lord’s Prayer when I was nly 3.5? I can still recite it now! Cool let’s say it together, she prompts, and we do. Some night shortly afterwards, the phone ringing partly through the night wakes me. it’s answered quickly, so I think nothing of it, cuddle Bear Bear and start falling back asleep. Suddenly, the door opens and both parents enter. Mother climbs into bed beside me, strokes my face, holds out the phone to me and says, “Por por’s going to heaven now. Say bye; she can hear you.” I swear, my heart *stopped* at that moment. How could this be?? But I took the phone and said with a quavering voice, “Por por? Xiao B here. It’s time for you to go to heaven now. I would have loved to see you once more but I suppose God needs you more than I do, which is why He’s taking you to Him in heaven now. Just know that I willlove you the MOST, FOREVER, no matter what, okay? Hopefully we’ll see each other in heaven again someday. Remember, I love you the most, forever.” We return to Hong Kong the next day; near the end of our stay we attend my most beloved grandma’s funeral. Earlier, mother had asked me, would I like to sing a song for grandma during her funeral? I’d said yes and picked Amazing Grace since it had been her favourite hymn. T he parents both sing the first verse with me, dad stops for the second verse to allow mother and me to sing the second verse then mother stops in the third verse to allow me to sing it by myself before we all singthe fourth verse together. If there’s one person I’d like to find and thank personally it’s the accompianist at the funeral; originally I thought we’d haveta sing a capella but just when I was about to cue dad to start singing, the accompanist begins the introduction to Amazing Grace! The other wonderful thing that happened during this second trip to Hong Kong for the year was that Mickey suddenly called me Emily! What I ddn’t know was that after we’d returned to Brisbane for the first time, my aunty had started teachinghim, “Your cousin’s name is Emily. Not Um. Em. Emily.” So everyone was eating lunch together after the funeral and it just so happens Mickey and I both look up at the same time, catching each other’s eye. “What’s up, brat?” I ask him. “Enjoying your food?” Mickey looks at me for the longest time, and then suddenly drops one word. “Emily.” “OMG!!” I screech, Mickey just said my name!! :D

2011: motherrandomly oreree I do this volunteer tutor course for her. Had greatfun teaching English to refugees but left after six months coz nothing paid was offered. Yay also that the mighty Marons took out the Origin shield, thus giving Locky the end he deserved~

2012: The Mighty Maroons took out their 7^th consecutive Origin shield; the joke was that the Queenslanders were SEVEN Up but the smelly Blues were Coke ZERO. XD Went back to Hong Kong for the last time; attended my paternal grandmother’s funeral. Poor dad hurt his back pushing my manual wheelchair uphill (because while I can steer and wheel myself just fine while on level ground, I’m physically not strong enough to do it uphill) and that’s when the parents decided they wouldn’t take me back to Hong Kong anymore. Passed the 5^th of anniversary of the cruel and unfaithful God destroying my life with the disabling brain tumour whilst over there. On the good side, I started doing some freelance editing work for Boss~ Like, he’s got pretty decent English language skills already, but since he grw up in Hong Kong before coming over to Australia, there are just little bits of his written English I can help him improve slightly on. Thought I was just doing some proofreading for him but editor sounds much more fancy. XD Also did the Bridge To Brisbane with a bunch of Canterbury teachers! Well, I wheeled; they walked.

2013: saw the eye doctor for some eyelash surgery; wore a eyepatch for awhile afterwards and resembled a minion. XD Nelson Mandela also passed away~ Enjoying a fortnightly shopping trip @ Garbo one night, I received a pamphlet from some random, an invite to this Christian music concert and some healing service. I ask the guy are the healing services for real? Coz I didn’t need the wheelchair before 2007; I could walk normally like everyone else. The dude reassures me it’s the real deal; excited, I take the pamphlet back to mother and say let’s go! You can imagine my *anguish* when she refused; if the healing services were false I could’ve just said well I tried. Guess God just wasn’t bothered in healing me yet. However, since mother just so offhandedly dismissed it as a sham and refused to take me, even now, six years later I’m left wondering had she taken me, would I have found complete physical healing and not be the burden to society that I still am today?? *sigh* But the best thing that happened for 2013 was when I rode a CAMEL!

2014: tried CIMT for two weeks. For those unfamiliar with the phrase, CIMT stands for constraint induced movement therapy and it’s when you stop use of your functional hand and only useyour affected hand for everything. When my physio said do it, I agreed on two conditions: one, I still managed toilet trips with my functional hand (wasn’t interested in learning how to wipe my butt with my affected hand XD) and two, unless my physio was willing to pay our next month’s water bill, lemme wash myself during showertimes with my functional hand. Thankfully, my physio agrees; for the next two weeks my demented left hand tried feeding me rice for dinner with a spoon (no way she could manage chopsticks) and more food ends up on the floor than inside my stomach. Believe me, my tummy was rather pissed with my left hand. XD Poor Phillip Hghes also passed away; I said he was lucky coz he was older than I was when he got knocked out but then I said I was luckier because I’m atill around to tell the tale when unfortunately he passed away. At least he didn’t regain consciousness after being hit and hopefully didn’t suffer~ Also attended my ten year high school reunion and remembered everyone; had a great time!

2015: Was a telemarketer for a month! Didn’t make a single successful call and copped plenty of abuse, but hey, it was a paid job that could be done sitting down. XD ‘Twas also the year where a SHIRTLESS MAN offered to carry me back up the hill to the lighthouse where I’d descended to the most easterly point in Australia! Alas my *awful* mother refused; my writers group friends laughed and tld me that was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that would nevervhappen again and alas, they’ve been correct! >< XD

2016: met a supposed ‘faith healer’ but nothing came from it. Unsure is faith healing not real/is the cruel and unfaithful God simply not interested in healing me. however, she did gimme a new perspective: when I sadly told her that if God didn’t heal me but lemme into heaven after my Earthly life had finished, I’d have ETERNITY to mourn the one life I wasted on Earth but she waslike don’t worry, you’ll see your Earthly life like you do a hang nail nowadays. Also had a D&M with the speaker’s wife @ our EM camp and explained to her my situation; she said I could try pray to God and ask Him to please ‘bridge the gap’ from how He boasts about being in the Bible (kind, healing, present, etc.) to how I’ve seen him (anything but).

2017: One whole DECADE since the cruel and unfaithful God destroyed my life with the brain injury. However, being awake the next day meant I had a good chance of being present for my 30^th birthday! Thanks to friends (church and book club) who threw me awesome parties~

2018: Centrlink was reviewing disability pensions and asked mother to get my physios to write a letter certifying that I was indeed, a disabled bum else they’d cut the pension. My UQ physio teacher writes this godawful letter saying I only ambulate @ 0.4km/hr! personally I thought I was capable of @ least 1km/hr; for my last NAB physio session that year, I prove it by walking 1.25km/hr. hah. XD And yay for the Gold Coast Commonwealty Games~

2019: holidayed with the parents down in Melbourne! Oh, Jacinta Perkins made me this AMAZING birthday cake; see, were it not for 2017 being my special decade birthday with parties and proper cake I’d have missed out entirely coz mother was like I didn’t get any cake for my birthday last year so why should you? In the end, she lemme buy one lil *slice* f cake; were it not for friends who understood the importance of turning one whole decade older and thus the need for proper cake, I’d have gone without! >< Last year I asked nice and early for a birthday cake; instead of letting me buy one mother said she’d make one for me! can I please have a cheesecake then, mother? She makes me one, but it’s SALTY! Turns out she accidentally used salted butter instead of salted. This year I was hoping third time lucky for a proper cake; somehow Jacinta Perkins gets in touch with me and makes me this AMAZING cake! Her mum was my year eight debating teacher; neither of us can remember how we became Facebook friends. XD

Oh, and for the first time since 2004, I wore a DRESS! EM was having a Christmas party and Pastor Grace suggested I wear a dress. I said I hadn’t worn one since 2004 (high school formal) but I asked around and awesome Miss Lam took me shopping! She even lemme finally hear her ‘cranky teacher voice’! My XD only regret’s that since the dress ends @ the knees, my ugly AFO will poe out in any photo taken but that can’t be helped.









Anyways, apologies for any mistakes you see in this post; the new year (and thus the new decade) arrives in just over thirty minutes’ time and I haven’t got the time to proofread because I’ve not finished my 2019 reflections yet! Maybe I’ll edit next year/next decade. XD Until then~

Cheers,

Em. ^^