Birthday Reflections 2018

Suddenly, one whole year has passed and tonight I’m writing my birthday reflections for 2018!

What can I say? Well, I’ve definitely enjoyed being thirty a whole lot more than I enjoyed being twenty, considering I wasn’t actually present for my twentieth birthday, having already been smote down by the cruel and unfaithful God with the disabling brain tumour and having already undergone the first of several botched surgeries … well, I was physically ‘present’ but I wasn’t actually ‘there’, get what I’m saying?

But I’ve actually had lotsa fun being thirty! I’ve proudly worm my ‘Oh No, 30!’ badge when it’s been present and showed it to everyone. Actually, a book club lady told me I could get a marker, draw a big one over the zero  then wear it the whole of me being thirty-one years; Joey was even smarter, saying I could just get a colourful piece of tape and stick it down the zero! Anyone know where I can get colourful sticky tape from?? XD Unfortunately, mother somehow managed to LOSE my badge right after my birthday, but she FINALLY FOUND it around the end of February, meaning I’ve been wearing it proudly these three weeks and showing it to EVERYONE I’ve come across. XD

Year in, year out, my life hasn’t changed much. Physio, physio, and yes, more physio. You may say I really haven’t much of a life. >< But YOLO and all that, hence why I decided I’d live my life to the best of all the limitations and restrictions that the cruel and unfaithful God has so wantonly placed on me. One of the quotes that really strikes me is “You can break my body and you can bend my mind, but my soul is not for you to possess.” I find myself telling the cruel and unfaithful God daily, “You know what, God? Maybe you can break my body (like you’ve already done, I’m physically disabled beyond words) and maybe you can bend my mind (like how my parents are always jeering at me that I don’t ‘think’ anymore, whatever that means) but do you know what, God? My soul, my SOUL is NOT FOR YOU to possess!!

For this year ahead, my goal obviously will be the same as it has been in past years: to improve my mobility and not fall flat on my butt anytime soon. The reason why I’m always freaked out about falling is because were I idiotic enough to fall, I simply do not have the physical capacity to get myself back upright, meaning I’d just be sitting on the floor, waiting for someone to come over and requesting them to please pull me back upright. It’s sth I’ve been working on with the ‘good’ physio @ UQ, although I was rather amused to hear the teacher tell my physio student that I’m apparently quite anxious when I’m down on the floor doing mat work. Me, I’m more like, “Anxious? How? I’m already down on the floor; how can I fall any further?? XD”

I’m still always in search for steady, paid work. Recently, I was placed with a new disability employment service called sth like Connect2Group, so hopefully they’ll help me find a paid job soon! Remember, I’m willing to do ANYTHING (even wash toilets XD), as long as I can do it sitting down and it gets me paid. I’m just gonna ignore cruel mother jeering at me that I wouldn’t even be hired to wash toilets sitting down coz it’s not economical. XD

Has everyone heard of the NDIS before? That stands for the National Disability insurance Scheme; I think it manages how many hours of support (for personal care and community access) I get. The NDIS started rolling out in NSW last year/the year before; it’s getting implemented in QLD this year. Hopefully I’ll still get all the support I currently need and I won’t miss out on anything .. nowadays, I am missing out on lots, considering how disabled the cruel and unfaithful God has abandoned me. Like, career? What career? Family? What family? *sigh*

What else? Will hopefully read more good books this year and watch some good movies~ I’m all set book-wise this year; at book club we read one book a month and Samuel Enderby took me to the Lifeline Bookfest around the beginning of the year and I bought myself another eight books and so I’m not looking for anymore books coz nowadays, I read so piss-slowly it takes me nearly one whole month to plough through one book. *sigh* As for movies … I’ve not heard of anything coming soon that I’m interested in, although I really wanna see a movie @ Sunnybank Hoyts and get a pizza DELIVERED! Doubt I’d get any luck with mother, though; sheesh, the woman rarely allows me POPCORN; how the blazes can I successfully petition her for a pizza?? XD Anyway, I’ve enjoyed being thirty (as much as one can ‘enjoy’ a disabled life ><) and hopefully being thirty-one will be just as good, if not even better!

Next post here … well, I haven’t been writing much; if nothing noteworthy comes up, you may not hear from me again until I write about how I spent my birthday this year! Anyways, until then~

Cheers,

Em. ^^