I distinctly remember sitting in front of the computer to
start my reflections on 2012. suddenly, here I am again, only it is now
reflections for 2013! Where has the year gone?? The template I’ve used for
previous years’ reflections comes back now~
First note to all: last year and the year before that, the
first catergory I commented about was sporting-wise. However, at the end of
last year, I said I had given up on the idea of resuming tertiary studies. By
that, I meant the dual arts/law degree I was studying @ UQ before the cruel and
unfaithful god so wantonly destroyed my life with the disabling brain tumour.
However, recently on television, I have seen ads for the open universities
study courses, and I’m thinking, why don’t I give that a go? I mean, the neuro-psych
test I took in 2008 said I was unfit to resume tertiary studies at UQ, but hey,
it’s been five years since I took that test and besides, open college provides
studies off campus. I was thinking of trying studying something along the lines
of the law degree I’d started the first two years of, before the cruel and
unfaithful god so wantonly destroyed my life with the disabling brain tumour, but
mother thought it’d be too hard for me (not sure why?) and instead found me
this course about editing. I’ve nothing against editing; I mean, it’s what has
earned me a lil money of my own this year, doing some editing work for a church
brother who, while he grew up in hong kong before moving to Australia, has
pretty good English skills already. So yeah, if that’s what mother wants me to
do for her this year, I’ll give it a crack!
Sporting wise: this year has been another great year for the
maroons, who have taken out their EIGHTH consecutive origin series! I was ready
to hand nsw back the origin gloating rights after queensland had secured six
consecutive wins, but this year marks our eighth straight series win, and I’m
hearing some supporters say that we’re after TEN
straight wins! Is that too greedy? Maybe, but oh, wouldn’t it be sweet if queensland
could really hold the bragging rights for one DECADE straight! As for myself, I
personally have not been in any shape whatsoever to run around a playing field,
although I did have the joy of walking taco (sorry, toca XD) the dog around
this playing field several times this year; thankfully, he’s only a small dog
and wasn’t strong enough to pull me over. XD
Politically-wise: well, mr. can-do Campbell
newman’s still our premier, but we have a new prime minister! I wonder, will
tony abbott be ever be able to shake off the image of him wearing those red
undies? XD however, on a sadder note, this year we farewelled nelson mandela;
coincidentally, he passed away the very morning I was due at the hospital for a
small eye surgery. I will admit, though, I don’t really keep up-to-date with
political stuff; whenever an election rolls around, I usually vote for the
first candidate smart enough to send out a flyer promoting themselves first. XD
Spiritually-wise: six years passed since the cruel and
unfaithful god so wantonly destroyed my life with the disabling brain tumour
came and passed without notice bar anyone but myself. Only two matters,
spiritually-wise, were of note this year: the first thing happened one Thursday
night, when I was out at the late night shopping with my carer/life
coach/support worker/whatever they’re called now. XD Some random walking past
hands me this pamphlet. Giving it a quick browse, I realise it’s an invitation
to a free Christian concert and healing services. So I ask the guy, “if I attend one of these,
will I get healed? Coz I didn’t need this stupid wheelchair until I got sick.”
The random just replied, “sure, come along for complete healing.” Excited, I
took this pamphlet back to mother, and you can understand my distress when she
refused to take me along! I mean, sure, if she’d had taken me but nothing had
happened, I could’ve said, “well, at least I tried. Guess the cruel and
unfaithful god isn’t interested in restoring my life” but because she refused
to take me, for the rest of my LIFE I will
be left wondering, “could I have lived a full, healed and meaningful life, one
where I could’ve contributed to society?” >< the second matter happened
during our church small group; we were doing a video series called gospel in
life, and the last lesson was called eternity. The speaker had a really long
rope with him, so long that you couldn’t see where the end was. At the tip of
the rope, the front maybe 10cm was covered with red tape. The guy explained
that your earthly life was represented by that red tape, but eternity, the time
you have after you’ve left the earth, was that unending rope. After awhile,
we’d be thinking, “what was that little time I spent on earth again?” not so
with me, however. When the guy uttered those words, I was like, great, I will
have ETERNITY to mourn the fact that I could have lived a full and meaningful
life, a fruitful life, had it not been for the cruel and unfaithful god. I
mean, nearly seven years on, and I’m still waiting for an answer: what was it
that I did/didn’t do that was so sinful that made god completely destroy my
life? I’m still waiting for an answer, but I highly doubt I’ll ever receive
one. Actually, sometime this yeart, a church sister asked me, “em, do you still
talk to god?” my answer at that time had been, “why should i? I’m so bad with
him!” but she had replied, “you should tell him that. He’s big enough to handle
it.” So that’s what I’ve been trying this year, telling god how angry I am with
him for destroying my life, how much I hate him, how much I Loate him, how much
I DESPISE him. Unsurprisingly, I haven’t received any answer, but hey: if you
weren’t expecting one, you can’t be disappointed. XD
Work-wise: like I mentioned earlier, I’m very happy that a
church brother has offered me a little paid editing work for him, although I’d
love to find suitable paid part-time work that allows me to sit down.
Everything-else-wise: lol, I may haveta cut things short,
coz there’s only twenty-five minutes left till the new year! One thing of
note’s how great my sleeping has become; last year, I recorded ninety-one
instances where I managed to sleep the whole night through before nature called
after the sun rose; this year, I’ve managed 191! Lol, dunno will I ever manage
to reach 200, but hey, it’s a far cry to back when I was still hospitalised and
every night, the cruel and unfaithful god would send me terrifying nightmares,
jeering that I was disabled, useless and abandoned forever … so, lemme just say
it’s awesome to get such great sleep now!
Oh, one more thing: I’ve had a hugely successful year in
2013 and only managed to fall over twice! Originally, I was going to reset that
and say, like last year, I hope I will fall five times or less, but what with
mother going on about me needing to walk all around the house myself this year
without any supervision … perhaps I’d better take that count to falling less
than ten times this year …
Hmm … only fifteen minutes left until new year arrives …
guess I won’t have any time to read over and check any mistakes and whatnot, so
lemme just bid 2013 a fond farewell – coz, on the whole, it’s been great fun;
like, this year, I rode a CAMEL! – and say hoping everyone has a smashing 2014!
Oh, and apologies for any mistakes and whatnot. XD
Cheers,
Em. ^^
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