2023 Reflections

 

My first resolution for 2024’s that I won’t leave things until the final day of the year to pen my reflections for that year! XD

So, 2023. A year of highs and lows. Let’s stick with the template I’ve used in years past to reflect on the year that will be was in just several hours:

Physically-wise: unfortunately, it’s not been a very successful year in this for me. I’ve managed to totally stack it not once, not twice, not even thrice but FOUR times; the last fall was only yesterday afternoon! >< Other than that, I’m still enjoying my two weeks’ of annual and therefore the word ‘physio’ DOOES NOT EXIST in the English language. XD

Work-wise: today I e-mailed Axiom College and asked could I please resume study. It really sucks being on the disability pension and not having an income. >< Subsisting on the disability pension isn’t fun! Remember, any job that I can do whilst seated (even cleaning toilets) and gets me properly paid, I’ll do it!

Spiritually-wise: do I haveta love God before He  lets me into heaven after my Earthly life finishes/is just believing that He exists, sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross for us and brought him back to life enough? If it’s the former, someone please teach me how to love Someone that treated me so unfaithfully in 2007.

Sporting-wise: the mighty Maroons retained the Origin shield this year!  Dear all my smelly Blues friends, please prepare yourselves for another @ least eight years of pain. XD Sounds about fair, yes? We win eight straight, you take two and then we win eight again. XD

As for the Broncos … we got all the way to the grand final before falling to the Penrith Panthers! Despite several players defecting to the Dolphins to play under Benny next year, I really hope we can go all the way and lift the shield next year, coz we’re not had premiership glory since 2006!

On a personal note, I’ve really enjoyed playing para-table tennis this year! Mother found me a club to play in where the only requirement before joining’s that you’ve gotta have some kinda intellectual disability; I’m the only unlucky sod that has a physical disability too. Just another thing I can despise the cruel and unfaithful God for. >< But the sessions are fun, I get to play whilst seated in my manual wheelchair and who knows? Maybe you really will see me on stage for the 2032  Brisbane Olympics playing for Australia in the table tennis! XD

Everything-else-wise: after not having any food dreams last year, this year I’ve had SIX food dreams! I’ve remembered less dreams this but am eternally grateful that the cruel and unfaithful God has left me alone from all the horrible nightmares He so cruelly plagued me with back for most of 2007 and nearly half of 2008.

Personally, tonight I’m overjoyed because I finally found my oldest (he turned THIRTY this year; that’s very old for a teddy! XD) teddy Bear Bear! Mother retired him several years ago from keeping me company every night in bed but said we could still bring him out for special occasions like the Origin only then she went and LOST him! O_o >< Only tonight when I hiked upstairs to visit my bedroom up there did, I find him in the middle spare room atop the chest of drawers!!

Oh, and this year was my year, the CNY of the Rabbit!  One highlight was when the parents and I were down in Sydney and eating @ some fancy restaurant that made xiaolongbao rabbit-themed with chocolate inside and dad lemme eat one all by myself!

Only thirty minutes till 2024 arrives, so I’d better note down some new years’ resolutions: work for better mobility? Find proper paid work? Eat more yummy meals? Huh, fat chance for the last one. >< XD *sigh*

Righteo, cya all in 2024!

Cheers,

Em. ^^

P.S. Next post here … umm, doubt I’ll do anything interesting enough tomorrow to warrant a special blog post; you may not hear from me again until March, when I put out my birthday wishlist for 2024! Until then~

 

Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day 2023

 

Aww, has the silly season already come and gone for another year?? Well, here’s how I spent my Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day for 2023:

I started Christmas Eve with my third consecutive awesome night’s sleep: after bidding my teddy good night, I fell asleep and didn’t wake again until 6:20am, when mother awakes me by going a-THUMPING around upstairs. After I relieve myself, I immediately fall back asleep again since I’m certain she’ll wake me again with noisier a-THUMPING around exactly one hour later!

Sure enough, mother’s noisy a-THUMPING around upstairs exactly one hour later awakes me again, and soon she’s let herself into my room to hit me with some eye goo. (Post brain-injury my right eye doesn’t fully shut, hence why I wear eye gel during the day and eye ointment for the night to keep my eye lubricated). After the usual morning routine (brush teeth, breakfast and toilet trip) mother tootles me off to church, where I use the bathroom once by myself then grab my usual spot in service to the most left (Since post-brain injury I’ve lost all left side vision, I prefer to be seated on the most left so that there’s nothing I can’t see more left than me).

After the first half of worship our EM pastor Peter Pie gives a sermon; originally Winston was rostered down to give the sermon but somehow, he got something inside his eye and instead was at the doctor’s somewhere getting it removed! O_O I made a mental note to myself to ask after him later today.

Service over, I use the bathroom again and then take a seat outside the kitchen coz I’ve heard that there was gonna be some fancy morning tea!

I’d expected either parent to walk behind me while I got myself a plateful of morning tea but instead, they brought me nibblies? Strange … Aunty Jenny and Aunty Brenda brought me over a bite too and I finally met baby Ethan: gosh, he’s really CHUBBY!! XD

Back home, mother randomly declared that she wasn’t gonna feed me lunch since I’d already eaten ‘too much’ earlier? I’d screeched at her that what I ate earlier that morning was a fancy morning tea and she’d better not deny me lunch!! Luckily, dearest dad microwaved me like half a bowlful of rice and mother poured one huge mug of Chinese tea for me. Since mother was on the couch and not facing me, I happily played mobile games until nature called, after which I plopped briefly online for about twenty minutes until mother ordered me off to shower.

Unfortunately, I don’t get any support for personal care during public holidays but hey, I manage.

For our once-weekly family dinner out, dad takes us back to the Sunnybank Sports and Community Club. I’m not really a fan of that place because I’d rather Chinese food for dinner but since mother orders that little saucer of rice for me, I don’t fret. XD

Only when we’re leaving, the heavens have opened and it’s BUCKETING down! I sit briefly in one of those single-seat armchair sofas and we wait for about five minutes but when the rain shows absolutely no signs of relenting some staff member lends dad an umbrella and he walks back to the car with me holding hands before he does the same with mother and after returning the umbrella to the staff member just bolts back to the car! XD

The rest of the night panned out as usual: we got home, I returned online and then hit the sack at 9:45pm. Zzz~

Christmas Day: what better way to begin Christmas Day with not only my fourth consecutive awesome sleep (I’d bid my teddy sweet dreams, fallen asleep and not woken again until 4:50am; one of the things I love most about the Summer months are how early the Sun rises because during the middle of Winter the Sun doesn’t peek out until like 6:30am!) but my 22^nd remembered dream of the year: I’d just walked into some pet shop!

When mother lets herself into my room later to help me up, she says good morning and I reply MERRY CHRISTMAS!

For breakfast I get a new treat: yesterday mother lemme buy two boxes of TINY TEDDY cereal! I only ever knew them as biscuits but the cereal version tasted great! Only the bears didn’t go *pop* like Coco Pops do and my oldest teddy Bear Bear was rather nervous that I was eating him … XD

After breakfast I sit briefly over the loo then climb into the car. Dad tootles us off to Redeemer Lutheran College for their Christmas service since BCAC didn’t hold one this year. While he’s driving us, I happily sing four secular Christmas carols on repeat because obviously we’re only gonna be singing Christian ones at Redeemer!

At the school, mother and I both use the loo once and then we head inside to find seats. Since I’ve lost all left peripheral vision post brain injury, I prefer sitting on the most left because that means there won’t be anybody more left than me that I can’t see, but for some reason dad led mother and I all the way into about the middle before letting me choose the first bench? Doesn’t matter; I’d be only looking forward during the service.

For some reason, the service looked fairly empty? Mostly old folks … I figured younger people enjoyed having a sleep-in for Christmas Day. XD We sang Christmas carols, some lady told the nativity story to some bunch of less than ten kids, there was communion and offering. Once service ended, mother hurried us home, saying I could use the bathroom back home since we’re off to the Slams for Christmas lunch soon.

Back home, I use the bathroom and then tootle online for about thirty minutes while the parents finalise preparations for stuff to bring to the Slams’ place for Christmas lunch.

When dad says it’s time to go, I visit the bathroom once more, climb into the back of his 4WD and then dad tootles mother and I off to the Slams’ residence for Christmas lunch! Upon arrival I immediately gave Anna her belated 50^TH birthday card; since you only qualify for a proper numbered birthday card every ten years, I had to get her one! Her birthday’s actually right at the beginning of December, two days after Aunty A’s birthday, I think.

When Aunty A arrives, I quickly give her the Christmas card I’d written her since Ronnie jie jie hadn’t arrived yet; mother had said it’d look bad if she was already there and I didn’t give her a Christmas card but I did give one to Aunty A. XD

Will admit to being disappointed about Christmas lunch: we had hotpot! Lol, I’d been hoping for sth more substantial. XD But Anna got me a little 250mL poppa of Vitasoy milk~

After lunch, while dad engages mother, Aunty A and Anna in games of Big Two, I happily play with my mobile. The Harry Potter of Bejeweled is heaps harder than my original Bejeweled game that I downloaded and you only get five lives before you’ve gotta wait ages (well, like twenty-four minutes XD) for another life, but it’s a fun game and that afternoon I passed like four levels!

Best of all, there’s even dessert! I skip dad’s red bean dessert soup (I’m not a fan of red bean dessert soup although will drink a bowl when it’s Winter coz it’ll warm me up but in general I don’t like the taste XD) and also skip mother’s almond dessert soup (would blow up XD) but drink one bowl of her black sesame dessert soup (which isn’t quite sweet enough even though she screeched she’s already added extra sugar for me XD) and munch two little cubes of grass jelly (I like the jelly texture but not the flavour).

After heading home, I pop online for the most important two hours of my day and then sit at the dining table to play the HP version of Bejeweled more while waiting for mother to come downstairs from her long afternoon nap and lemme go shower.

She did come downstairs briefly to gimme some fruit for arvo tea but then she lay down on the couch and took another afternoon nap! When dearest dad returned home from whatever he’d gone to do he forbade me from calling mother awake and asking may I shower yet!

Luckily, she eventually wakes and I get to take one of my four long showers of the year before I happily watch the 6pm news bulletin for the 196^TH time!

Unfortunately, Christmas dinner was a total disappointment: lunch hotpot leftovers with rice. XD

After dinner I return online and happily keep playing the HP version of Bejeweled. It’s a successful day: I pass like NINE levels! As usual, come 9:45pm I shut the computer and hit the sack. Zzz~

Boxing Day: I begin the 26^th with my 5^th consecutive awesome sleep (bid my teddy sweet dreams, fall asleep and don’t wake until 6:10am) but it’s an earlier start for me than normal since Dr. Esther and David are coming to pick me up and taking me to our EM social! After the usual morning routine (brush teeth, eat breakfast, etc.) I plop online briefly to await their arrival but when Dr. Esther messages me to say they’re coming early I quickly sit over the loo once then sit by the door and await their arrival.

Wow Serena lives in a very fancy house in Wellington Point somewhere! It’s so big, once you go inside you’ve gotta take a step down to reach the like second living room! Her house even borders a lake!

More people arrive with food and the barbie’s fired up! I’m very impressed: the fare over Boxing Day’s much fancier than what I ate over Christmas Day! I make sure to photograph and send mother every morsel of food I take and don’t reach for anymore food myself. XD

After lunch I ask Yu Lam can I go fishing yet but she points at the sky and says prolly not; the storm looks like it’s gonna hit soon … instead, Rosanna heads inside with me and I visit the bathroom once.

Toilet trip over, I sit somewhere comfy and start playing the HP version of Bejeweled again while people discuss what to do next. In the end, Winston leads some game of werewolf-style Mafia …

Suddenly, BANG! One MASSIVE clap of thunder and the power’s cut! Everyone’s very brave and nobody screams although Serena’s mum quickly digs out a battery-powered lamp from somewhere and the game continues while the thunderstorm explodes around outside us.

Luckily, the storm has passed by the time people start heading home. Originally, Rosanna was my lift home but Dr. Lee told her he’d do it; he lives closer to me than she does.

Back home I sit over the loo again before showering.

Wonder why dad didn’t invite anyone over for dinner to celebrate mother’s birthday? Just us, and the usual dinner.

But after dinner it’s present-opening time! Thanks, Santa, for bringing me some very awesome presents~ :D

And thus the silly season ends for 2023 …

 

Next post here: sorry I’ve been super-unorganised: I only got this post published on the 30^th, which means I’ll haveta type my 2023 reflections tomorrow, since it’ll already be NYE! Until then~

Cheers,

Em. ^^

XMas Greetings 2023

 Greetings, one and all! Just like that, it’s the final month of 2023 already – where has the year gone?? Hope this year has been a good one for you and your family!

Since I had muchly enjoyed studying Ancient History during high school, I’d even chosen it as one of my majors in the Arts degree I’d begun concurrently studying with L aw for my first year of uni. However, I found Ancient History at the uni level extremely boring – I’d attend a lecture and promptly fall asleep! Telling myself I’d better change to study something else that I wouldn’t fall asleep in, I’d picked Chinese and in doing so, inadvertently pissed off my high school Japanese teacher  whom I’d  kept in touch with after graduating high school; apparently, I’d once sent him an e-mail saying that I was 99.99% certain I’d study Japanese at university level? He’d sent that e-mail back to me, screeching, “Look what you wrote!!” Well, sorry sir: the 0.01% won instead and I studied Chinese. XD

A close church friend introduced me to her close high school friend who was also studying Chinese at university; Madam Hippo (her cousin gave her this very apt nickname, not me! XD) and I hit it off immediately! Unfortunately, while pathetically useless me went and suffered a brain injury, she finished her degree – and then became a published author! We’d met over our shared love of fantasy novels and Naruto but instead, she went and wrote a bloody ROM COM!! How low can you sink?? I remember screeching at her. XD Still, I wasn’t gonna miss her book launch for the world! It was held at some fancy multi-level book store in Sydney and was actually the first author event held there after COVID-19 had forced the closure of like everything! My friend had given me a copy of her book and I’d promised her I’d find all the errors and bag her out for them. XD In the end, I dug out 2.5 errors. Actually, I thought I found three but she conceded to only two of them, so we settled on 2.5. XD Mother had warned me on threat of disembowelment (well not really; I don’t even know how one says ‘disembowelment’ in Canto! XD) not to bring attention to those mistakes and obviously I wouldn’t! instead, I remain, as always, her most loyal squeeing fangirl. XD

Last year, I shared the devastation of me marking the 15^TH year since the cruel and unfaithful God had so wantonly destroyed my life with the brain injury but this year marked a much happier event: 1.5 DECADES since I’d been released from the insane asylum (my pet nickname for the Brain Injuries Rehab Unit of the Princess Alexandra hospital)! XD

I thought such a momentous event deserved a dinner out for celebration, but when I tried politely asking mother could we please have a celebratory dinner out together on May the 23^rd to celebrate my 15^th year of release from the insane asylum, she’d IMMEDIATELY snapped back, “No way! What’s there to celebrate about??”

Me: “Um, I’ve been out of the hospital for 1.5 DECADES; isn’t that enough cause for celebration? Mother pointed out, “You still walk like crap.” Sheesh, did she like stick her fingers into her ears when the doctor I’d NEVER even STAND again, let alone walk?? Sure, I still walk with a disabled gait (and I can’t help but despair that I will never ambulate normally again ><) but I AM (however improperly XD) mobile.

So, mother obviously didn’t see the need for a celebration, but I still felt like one! Hence why I tried asking my gospel group (i.e. church small group) next were they free, they said sure and so on that Tuesday night, I met five of them at Garbo’s  Eight Street and we all pigged out on a dinner of Korean fried chicken! Even better, afterwards we all hiked to some gelato store in the upstairs food court, bought a big tub of gelato and then went to my GG’s leader’s house where we all munched gelato and  played this awesome fun card game called Organ Attack. Everyone starts with  three/five organs and then you just draw cards with illnesses and try to murder everyone else. I was the second-last standing but in the end died of tonsilitis. When I asked my doctor friend wasn’t tonsilitis just a very sore throat and how could I possibly perish, she explained that should the tonsils swell and impact on each other, that will block your airways and once you can’t breathe? You’re dead! >< Great, next time I get a sore throat I’m gonna be terrified that it’s the end for  me. >< Should that ever  happen, remember me fondly, please? XD

Last year I remember sharing with everyone how my dearest dad had started taking me to church on Saturday afternoons to play table tennis together; some precious daddy-daughter time~ Mother somehow found for me this table tennis club in Windsor (that’s the first time I’d  heard that Brisbane has a Windsor; when she originally told me I was like we’re rich enough  to fly me from Brisbane to Windsor and back every week?? No way! XD) and the only criteria you must meet before joining is that you must have some sort of intellectual  disability. I’m just the unlucky (but since Christians aren’t meant to believe in luck I suppose that’s just another thing that I can hate the cruel and unfaithful God for ><) sod that has both an intellectual AND physical disability. *sigh* But the once-weekly sessions are fun and there are even three/four competitions during the year! My dearest dad drove me down to  the Gold Coast to compete in one competition although unfortunately he wasn’t available to drive me up to the Sunshine Coast for another competition because he’d just returned from an overseas trip to Hong Kong that morning and was obviously too tired to drive me up there on such short notice.

But speaking of overseas trips, can you believe it: this year marks TWO DECADES since I went on the high school trip to Japan on exchange for two weeks, and it remains the BEST EXPERIENCE of my life to date! I’ll never forget how during our first night in Japan we girls (there were five of us and two boys) were AGHAST to discover that the youth hostels there had COMMUNAL BATHROOMS! We ORDERED our poor Japanese teacher to STAND OUTSIDE THAT DOOR and NOT LET ANYBODY ELSE IN, got it?? XD

But Christmas arrives next next Monday! Please allow me to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a safe and prosperous New Year; hope you’ve all been good boys and girls so that Santa will bring you all lotsa Christmas presents! Personally, I have a bone to pick with Santa: I’ve tried my hardest to be good year after year and year after year he brought me fewer and fewer presents until this year, all I’ve received so far is one -*one*! - measly *unwrapped* present under the Christmas tree! Perhaps you suddenly feel the urge to be Santa’s elf and bring me more presents to put under the tree? Don’t delay! XD

But seriously: all the best for you and your loved ones in 2024! May whatever you’re currently working with continue to go well and may whatever new endeavour you take up prosper~ I’m constantly thankful that we live in an age of technology where it’s much easier to stay in touch with everyone not just through snail mail and hope I’ll remain in contact with you throughout next year as well~

All the best for 2024!

Cheers,

Em. ^^

XMas Wishlist 2023

 You know, Santa, sometimes I wonder why year after year, I faithfully spend time typing out to you my Xmas wishlist (the red squiggly line beneath wishlist denotes spelling error; apparently, it’s actually wish list? Personally I reckon wishlist looks fine but that’s prolly why I wasn’t anything amazing at Year Twelve English: just an A- average. XD); you hardly ever notice! Over the past several years you’ve hardly brought me any presents at all and I’m feeling muchly unloved. >< Never mind; here’s my Xmas wishlist for this year in the hope that you will really get your Christmas elves cracking and bringing me LOTSA presents! Here’s what I’m hoping you’ll bring me this year, Santa:

(1)               Books – it matters not how shamefully slowly I read now (about one book per month) because reading has always been my favourite hobby and I’ll be damned before I let the cruel and unfaithful God take away my love of reading too because, in His infinite cruelty, hasn’t He already taken away enough?? >< My favourite genres are fantasy, science fiction (I’m a Trekkie but haven’t read a good Star Trek book for a while; any recommendations?) and historical fiction, but I’ll willing to try reading anything bar Mills and Boon. XD

(2)               Teddies – some may say I’ve already got too many stuffed toys inside the house (mother XD) but all my teddies are loved and all are named (even though one’s named John Doe and the other’s named John Doe 2. XD) Bears are the quintessential teddy but I’ve got stuffed toys in all different shapes and forms – like a stuffed toy hippo, a stuffed toy fish and even a stuffed toy bubble tea – and I’m always looking to add to my collection!

(3)               Outdoors electric wheelchair – this has been the one expensive thing I’ve allowed myself to ask for in the past several wishlists over the years gone by. I’ve been unable to return to HK to visit all my beloved family and awesome friends since 2012 (more than one DECADE ago ><) because when in HK, mother and I usually live with her younger sister, who lives at the top of some very steep hill. Now, while I’m able to wheel and steer myself around just fine when on level ground (however slowly), I’m not physically strong enough to push myself uphill. Dad did the pushing back in 2012 and hurt his back; that’s when he decided I’d not go back anymore. Mother and him just take turns going themselves. Several years ago, when the NDIS first came in, a church physio uncle friend recommended that the parents get a new electric wheelchair for me, since the funding scheme currently in place for them would be phased out soon. When this new electric wheelchair arrived, I very excitedly asked mother was she going to book our tickets back to HK like, tonight?? Coz with this new handy dandy electric wheelchair, I wouldn’t need dad to push me up the hill anymore; I could control the joystick myself and steer myself up! You cannot believe how PISSED I was that mother very smugly gloated at me that no, since this is only an INDOORS wheelchair, you’re still stuck here while your dad and I take turns going back. In that case; why’d she even get it for me?! It’s not like I ever get to use it; the poor thing just sits in the garage, uncharged and unloved. I’m sure I’ve used it LESS times than the number of fingers I’ve got on one hand! >< *sigh* Actually, I’m not even sure: how much does an outdoors electric wheelchair cost, anyone? If it’s very expensive, perhaps several people could chip in together and get me one? Honestly, nearly more than *anything* I just wanna go back to the country of my birth and visit all my beloved family and awesome friends …

(4)               Pet – I’ll forever be guilty of the involuntary manslaughter of poor Silver and Bronze; how was I supposed to know that goldfish are so pathetically wimpy that they require a heater in their fishtank (another word that’s supposedly two words but I think looks fine being one XD) lest they perish from the cold?? But honestly, they’ve been in heaven for just over 1.5 DECADES now and surely, I can be trusted with a live pet again?? If not, then someone please tell Luke MacCourt that I’m still waiting for my pet ROCK! When he first told me about them, I thought he was just pulling my leg and telling porky pies but I went home and Googled ‘pet rocks’; there are literally WEBPAGES explaining that while they don’t need food and water like live pets, you can provide them with different stuff like different textures to lie on, etc.! Liam, you told me your son had made a start on my pet rock and painted it Minion yellow; please ask him to find some spare time (even though I know he’s very busy being a dad) to finish my pet rock!

(5)               Minions – my entire church family from BCAC must be aware that I am besotted with the Minions; even the youngest littlies at church ought to know that Aunty Em loves the Minions! Sure, the franchise probably ended last year with the release of Minions2 but until someone finds me sth new to obsess over, I’ll still be squeeing after these yellow, jellybean-shaped, stupid creatures! BANANA!! XD

(6)               Tickets – when Westlife gave their only concert in Brisbane back in 2007, Pole and I had bought tickets; we were so excited to go! Only then my idiot brain decided to sprout me a freaking tumour. >< I missed the concert, they never came back, they disbanded for like one DECADE and when they finally got back together, they’re holding concerts in like Taiwan and everywhere else but THEY ARE NOT COMING BACK TO BRISBANE!! >< Someone tell them to come give a concert in Brisbane and get me tickets!!!

(7)               Frosties – I believe every wishlist requires at least one food item! Usually, mother only feeds me healthy cereal like Weet-Bix and All-Bran but personally I like the unhealthy cereals like Coco Pops and Frosties! I’m asking for Frosties this year coz I ate a bowl of Coco Pops during our SG retreat last year; I was so happily listening to the little brown balls go *pop pop pop* I forgot to eat until a friend asked me, ah, Em, how come you’ve stopped eating? XD

(8)               Wii game – back when the Nintendo Wii first came out, Uncle Chi Wah and Aunty Po Yee randomly got me one! I’ve just realised I’ve never bought a Wii game before; could someone please get me Kirby’s Return To Dreamland? It’s an old game from 2011 but I’ve always loved Kirby; he was my character of choice back in the days of the N64 and Super Smash Brothers; I’d always turn him blue and Bluekirby was my username of choice before Gmail came in!

 

Lol I can’t even come up with ten items on my wishlist! Suppose you could say I’m not overly materialistic? XD Well, I prefer catching up with people over a meal rather than receiving an item, so if you’re free for a catchup, please lemme know! The parents (mother in particular; don’t ask me why) seems hellbent on trying to keep me socially isolated (even though she claims that dad sets the rules) and usually won’t lemme contact anyone to see if they’re free for a catchup – well, only one person sometimes – so if you’re free, you please lemme know and I’ll try organise sth!

(9)               Christmas Tree – I’ve just asked my dearest dad can he please pull out the Christmas tree and I’ll help decorate it asap so everyone can start bringing me presents but dad replied nah I’ll haveta get a new one from somewhere; the old one died. Unsure can I get Christmas presents without a Christmas tree; someone please bring a Christmas tree over like, now! XD

As always, I reserve the right to add to this list should anything else pop into my mind!
Cheers,
Em. ^^
P.S. Next post here … prolly my Xmas Greetings; that’s due out on the 11^th but I’ve not even started thinking about what I should write yet! XD Anyways, until then~

Birthday Celebrations 2023

 Lol, how come I always wait until I’m nearly half a year older to share about how I celebrated my birthday this year?? Yeah, that’s me: unorganised. XD

But cripes, I’m officially on the wrong side of thirty now! O_o

Not that being thirty-six marked any significant change in how I lived my life. Being horribly physically disabled tends to spoil everything entirely. *sigh*

Still, I’ll always be indebted to my friend who taught me that your birthday doesn’t only get celebrated on the day itself; no, rather, you’re allowed to celebrate it for the ENTIRE MONTH! I thought her assertion was a grand idea and immediately adopted it. XD Mean mother jeers at me that it’s only coz I want people to take me out for meals coz I’m a fat greedy pig but I’m like, what’s wrong with that? Celebrating your birthday over a meal out together sounds like a great plan to me!

Since I get one meal out per week (mother used to work half day Thursdays and has organised for carers to take me out because I reckon she suspects that if left to my lonesome I’ll burn the house down XD) that’s the five Thursdays in March covered.

I first celebrated my birthday with all the other awesome ladies of the third edition book club at the Logan North library on the second Thursday of the month. I’ll sheepishly admit I’ve already forgotten which book we read but I felt very loved to receive two handmade cards and a box of chocolates for my birthday.

This year, my birthday fell on a Monday. Great, I don’t usually have physio on Mondays. XD This year, most Mondays mother takes me to Vincent the physio’s place and I see a Chinese lady for some massage, acupuncture and cupping every now and again. I’ve had acupuncture and massage for many years, but cupping’s sth new that I only started this year! Aunty Anna sets these little glass cups on fire and then sets them all over my back; afterwards, the skin’s quite raised with red marks but there’s no pain whatsoever.  The first time this happened, I forgot to remind my carer that I’d had it done; when I went into the bathroom for a shower and removed my shirt, she gasped and then SCREECHED, “What HAPPENED to your back?!” It took me a second to remember that I’d just had cupping done; when I hastily reassured her that everything was fine and that’s what cupping looks like, she was like phew I thought you’d been ABUSED or sth! XD I enjoy the firm ministrations from Aunty Anna while mother takes every opportunity to yap ceaselessly at her. I kid you not: her voice is so soporific I often fall asleep! XD

Something new I’ve started this year is para table tennis! The only requirement before you can join the club I’m playing with’s that you have to have some sort of intellectual disability; I’m the only unlucky sod that has a physical disability too. Only I thought Christians aren’t meant to believe in luck? Then I suppose it’s just another thing I hate the cruel and unfaithful God for. >< *sigh*

But back to table tennis: the tradition there is that for your birthday, you bring cake to share with everyone! The last time I enjoyed a cheesecake from the Cheesecake shop was back when I turned twenty-four; in recent years mother has started baking cakes herself and refuses to lemme buy a birthday cake from any store because she claims store-bought cakes are very bad for you since they contain preservatives and what not. Well, I miss them since I reckon they taste yummier than what mother produces … although that’s probably because she NEVER follows the recipe and I suspect she never adds the amount of sugar the recipe contains. Still, cake is cake, and one of my favourite Facebook post’s this café blackboard that says: fat people are harder to kidnap. EAT MORE CAKE. XD   

I’ve found online that you can get many free things for your birthday and was hoping to get as much I could get around to, but mother was mean, saying she’d only lemme get ONE. >< *sigh* Would anyone have a day of on March the 20^th next year and be free to take me around to more places to get all my birthday freebies?

On my birthday day itself, I saw Aunty Anna for some massage and acupuncture (I enjoy her firm ministrations; mother enjoys the chance to yap ceaselessly at her XD) after which I got my one birthday deal that mother had allowed me. I thought Red Rooster offered you a free meal on your birthday but for some reason the lady behind the counter said that wasn’t offered anymore?! Instead, she asked me did I have the Red Rooster app on my phone? When I replied yes, she said open it and see what deals are on offer today. I chose the one that gave you two pieces of fried chicken for a certain price but can you believe it: she was awesome and gave me THREE! I thought mother would order her own meal but instead she nabbed one of the pieces. Never mind, I had the other two. When we left this same lady was still at the counter; I called my thanks after raising three fingers into the air (meaning thanks for sneaking me one extra piece). She just nodded and grinned! Originally, I was thinking about leaving her a thank-you message on Red Rooster’s Facebook page but mother forbade me from doing so; apparently they’d fire her if they found out!

Rebecca minded me from 4pm-6pm and then for my birthday dinner we went out to Impressive Dumplings for dinner with Aunty A before coming back home for birthday cake!

Lol, I’ve not had much luck with birthday cake for the past half decade or so. Back for my 30^th birthday six years ago, I’d asked mother can I please get a birthday cake? Imagine how distressed I was when she immediately snapped no, since she didn’t get any cake for her birthday last year, why should you get any cake for your birthday this year?!

But mother, this isn’t just any birthday, this is my special DECADE birthday; you can’t jolly well deny me cake!! ><

In the end, mother lemme buy one little *slice* of cake. Sheesh, if it were not for friends who understood the importance of special decade birthdays and the need for birthday cake, I’d have gone without! o_O ><

The next year, after ensuring mother had birthday cake for her last birthday, did I try again asking politely for permission to buy birthday cake. For whatever reason that so pleases her, mother again refused; this time, she said she’d MAKE me a birthday cake! Oh, that’s right. During the past half-decade or so, mother has taken up cake baking as a hobby. Well, I’m not picky. Cake’s still cake. Will you please make me a cheesecake, mother? I like cheesecakes.

So, on the night on/before my 31^st birthday, we’re all seated around the dining table. Mother produces the cake; we all pose for obligatory photos and then small slices are served. We’re all munching away until I speak up. “Thanks mum, the cake’s nice, but just curious … how come it’s SALTY?! Aren’t cheesecakes meant to be sweet??”

Mother looks caught out and terribly embarrassed for a split second, before she doubles over and howls her laughter. “Oh, I was hoping with your inferior taste buds you wouldn’t realise, but you caught me out! See, I’d already tucked you into bed before I started baking your birthday cake; it was late and I was tired. The recipe said to use unsalted butter but I didn’t notice and used salted butter. I was hoping you wouldn’t find out, bahaha!”

Lol, you’d think after that mother would learn her lesson and just lemme buy a cake but she persistently refuses; apparently store-bought cakes are very unhealthy for you because they contain all these preservatives and other bad things? Well, I’ve never come to any harm after eating store-bought cake and can’t help but think mother demands to make my cake so that others will praise her and say what a ‘good’ mum she is. XD

Since I celebrate my birthday for the entire MONTH, one event I’m counting as a celebration’s when the NAB students from UQ set me this treasure hunting activity to do at Garbo! I ended up hiking from the downstairs Coles to the upstairs food court but Mrs. Hoppie (not how her surname’s spelt but it’s how you pronounce it) the clinical educator was a sport and shouted me arvo tea: a serve of Chinese egg waffles and a pearl milk tea! The most exciting thing’s that she dropped me back home after the excursion. She drives a convertible; since the weather was lovely that day, she took the roof down and I excitedly waved my right arm out of the car before apologising and saying, “Sorry, it’s illegal to hang body parts outta the car, isn’t it? I’d better stop lest the police pull you over and fine you.” She laughed and replied I think it’s only illegal if you hang like half your body out, isn’t it? I’m pretty sure sticking your arms up and outta the car’s fine. In that case, I flung both arms wide open and out, calling, “Woo hoo!” XD

 

I’m pretty sure my entire church family of BCAC knows of my total obsession with the yellow, jellybean-shaped, incredibly stupid minions of Despicable Me. On the weekend before/after my birthday, after church service, the chairperson suddenly says Em, someone’s made you Minion cupcakes for your birthday! Once service ends, I head out of the hall, everyone sings me the happy birthday song and Minion cupcakes are passed around! Lana Banana’s such a talented baker: I made sure I thanked her profusely for the treat after I got home and plopped online that Sunday!

During morning tea after church, dear Granny Wan comes to sit beside me; when I excitedly burble to her that it’s my birthday very soon, she asks me how old are you? Since I’ve no idea do Cantonese people have the phrase ‘forever twenty-one’, I just told her my real age. Granny Wan blinks in surprise, leans closer and exclaims, “Are you THAT old already?!” XD

But yeah. Since I’m on the wrong side of my thirties now I suppose I’d better get used to being an old hag. XD Still, I had fun celebrating my birthday this year!

Next post here … maybe I’ll write one about our two trips to Sydney this year? Anyways, until then~

 

Fifteen Years 2

 

Last year, my first ‘fifteen years’ post shared the devastation I felt from it being 1.5 DECADES since the cruel and unfaithful God had so wantonly destroyed my entire life with the brain tumour, multiple botched surgeries and subsequent massive stroke. This year, I can thankfully share about my joy from being released from the insane asylum for 1.5 decades!

Oh, the insane asylum is my pet nickname for the Brain Injuries Rehabilitation Unit of the Princess Alexandra hospital. I called it the insane asylum because I had to spend about one year rehabbing there after my brain injury and it sent me up the wall! (Not literally, of course. Unfortunately, the cruel and unfaithful God has left me too physically disabled to climb any walls… only surely most able-bodied people can’t climb walls either because there’s no hand/footholds to cling onto?) The average patient stay lasts for six months to nine months but my stay was like 1.25 YEARS because apparently the doctors kept wanting to send me to some nursing home but mother kept insisting she wanted to bring me home?

In the fifteen years since, I’ve worked hard to regain all those physical abilities taken away by the cruel and unfaithful God that comes naturally to most able-bodied people, like standing and walking. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder does mother just very conveniently ‘forget’ that the doctors at the hospital initially told her that I’d never even stand again, let alone walk? In light of that, I don’t think I’m doing too badly. Just because standing and walking come to her as easily as breathing does, doesn’t mean it’s the same for me! Every time I’m upright I’ve gotta think about which leg I’m moving next, which side my weight should be on… I’m forever conscious and freaking out that my next step could result in me stacking it. >< I try my hardest to avoid any falls because were I idiotic enough to stack it, I wouldn’t be able to get myself back upright without assistance. Like, I’d just be sitting with bum on the floor, waiting for someone to walk past the place where I’ve fallen and then extend an arm out, asking to be pulled back upright please.

Mostly I’m grateful that despite the cruel and unfaithful God’s awful intention to leave me wheelchair-bound for life I can still walk some. Sure, it’s with a disabled gait and I must wear an orthotic over my affected foot if I am to walk at all since she inverts (twists out) once I place weight on her but I’m not stuck in a wheelchair. I attend multiple sessions of stressful physio weekly and it’s like the bane of my existence, but hey. XD I despair that I will ever be able to ambulate normally ever again like everyone else but what can I do except to roll outta bed every morning and give it my all? There are mornings when I wake, realise what I have in store that day, wanna pull the covers back over my head and deny even that the world exists, but the teddy keeping me company in bed encourages me to get up and face the day, with the promise that he’ll be waiting for me when I crawl into bed that night. ^^ XD

The other thing I’m grateful for’s the amount of good quality sleep I get nowadays. Nightmares are now a thing of the past and I try and forget those hellish nights, weeks and months I spent imprisoned in the insane asylum, where sleep wasn’t an option. Like, once I’d fallen asleep, the cruel and unfaithful God would send me a horrifying nightmare. They were all the same: it’d be dark and I’d be standing outside our house on the dark bitumen road after the driveway. I’d turn around frantically in circles, calling desperately for my parents yet they’d never come. Suddenly I’d remember that I’m too physically disabled to spin around in circles, lose my balance and fall to the ground, screaming. Eventually I’d jerk awake with terror and want to cry out for my parents but realise I couldn’t coz I’m in hospital and surely, I’d get into trouble should I cause a ruckus and disturbed my roommates? I’d eventually fall back asleep again, only for the cruel and unfaithful God to again send me the terrifying nightmare. Repeat until I was finally released from the insane asylum. At first, I’d jerk awake in the middle of the night, terrified that I was all alone again but after seeing the nightlight in my room I’d reassure myself that I was safe and fall back asleep. Seriously, the first thing I did upon release was SLEEP! Like, I’d sleep-in till like 11/11:30am and then get up, eat some brunch and maybe like read/watch television for a while. Around 3pm I’d tell mum I’m sleepy, afternoon nap time. Only this wasn’t like a thirty-minute afternoon nap, it was more like a three/four HOUR nap! After dearest dad got home from work, I’d get up and have dinner with him but by about 8:30pm/9pm I’d be like mother I’m sleepy. Going to bed now, good night. This carried on for about one month; it got to the stage where mother was seriously considering to take me to see the doctor because surely it can’t be normal to sleep your life away? Luckily, around that time my body clock finally began readjusting and I began to pull outta it; now, I’m fine with the normal eight hours of sleep that everyone else gets but my teddy still loves a sleep-in every now and again. XD

There are only two things I miss about life in the insane asylum. The first are the bedrails. I dunno how the beds there are structured nowadays, but back when I was imprisoned there both sides of the bed had rails. Before leaving every night, the parents would pull them up and lock them in place, ensuring that I couldn’t fall outta bed. When I was first released from the insane asylum, one night I was lying on my back waiting to fall asleep when I suddenly decided I felt like sleeping on my right side. So I rolled – but rolled too far – and plop! Landed on the floor! I remembered that dearest dad was out that night having a drink with his mates, meaning ‘twas only mother and I home. I like SHRIEKED, “MUM!! HELP!! I’ve fallen outta bed!!!” I heard no verbal response but could hear mother noisily pounding around upstairs so knew she’d heard me.

When mother opened the door to find her only and very physically disabled daughter lying on a crumpled heap on the ground, do you know what she did? She LAUGHED! I mean, what kinda mother would do that to her own child?? Okay, in her defence she checked I wasn’t injured before laughing her head off, but I’m still wounded for life. XD

The only other thing I miss about life in the insane asylum is the tea. We/us inmates (patients XD) were DROWNED in it, with SIX cups every day! Yup, breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper. I take mine white (lots of milk, please) with two sugars.  When I was first released from the insane asylum mother immediately cut the six cups everyday to just only one (the arvo tea cuppa) per day. After a while, she cut out white tea from my diet entirely, giving me just peppermint, Chinese or green tea. When that happened, Saturdays became my favourite day of the week since mother works Saturdays and I’d have a carer to help me up and spend four hours with me. Inside those four hours, she’d feed me three big mugs of white tea with two sugars. For some reason, dad didn’t like that and he hid the sugar somewhere. That’s alright: for several weeks I just had my three mugs of white tea with one big spoonful of honey instead. Only dad saw me take the tea with honey and he hid that too! My last resort was to take my white tea with golden syrup, but now that’s been hidden too, I guess my last resort is having a small cuppa with two sugars whenever I attend GCCW on the second and fourth Thursdays of each month. Well, beggars can’t be choosers …

Doesn’t matter! The pros far outweigh the cons of life in the insane asylum. Besides, if the doctors had had their way, I would’ve been sent to some nursing home and would surely be six feet under by now, since mother’s forever harping on about how if she wasn’t SAINTLY enough to bring me home I’d have eaten myself to death in some nursing home. XD

Yes, life’s a struggle. Doesn’t look like it’s gonna get easier anytime soon/in the near future/ever, but I suppose all I can do’s live each day as it comes, always rise above the cruel and unfaithful God’s near-overwhelming hatred and make the most outta whatever I’ve got left. Apparently, attitude’s everything? Well, I’m determined to keep a good attitude and CELEBRATE that today marks 1.5 DECADES since I was let outta the insane asylum, woot!

Cheers~

P.S. Next post here: perhaps my review of the Super Mario movie?

Birthday Reflections q2023

 Lol, how remiss of me: I don’t seem to have posted a birthday reflection last year/even several years before that! Well, I have two perfectly good reasons for sh*tty memory: (1) mother really DID lemme GET DROPPED ON MY HEAD AS A BABY (true story! >< XD) and (2) 2007 brain injury. But at least I’m able to dictate a birthday reflection today!

Being 3.5 decades old until 6:22pm tonight means … cripes, I’ll officially be on the wrong side of thirty very soon. XD Unfortunately, the cruel and unfaithful God leaving me too bloody physically disabled to hold down any proper, steady job means that I just subsist on the disability pension and since it’s also left me with an intellectual impairment (although I’m not really quite sure how it works, just that I have one) means that neither am I deemed fit for study. Although you know the phrase ‘not the dumbest cookie in the cookie jar’? I like to tell people that I’m not the dumbest cookie in the cookie jar – just the second dumbest! XD When I told that to the lady in charge of the para table tennis place I’ve started playing at this year, she just laughed and retorted, “Girl, you’re in a different tin of biscuits all together!” Cripes I hope she doesn’t mean I belong to an even dumber packet of cookies! Then again, I’m not even sure about the hierarchy of cookies; I’m rather partial to choc chip cookies though; where would they line up in the intelligence scale of cookies? XD

It's been quite fun being thirty-five; at church last Sunday, when dear Granny Wan sat down beside me for morning tea after service, I excitedly burbled to her that it was my BIRTHDAY toms; she peered at me and asked how old will I be? When I’ve been asked that in the past I’ve just grinned cheekily and replied forever twenty-one! Only with Granny Wan we obviously converse in Canto and since I’ve honestly never tried saying ‘forever twenty-one’ in Canto before (although I reckon I could have a fair crack at it) I didn’t and so I just tell her my real age. “Are you really THAT old?!” She asks me, honestly surprised. I indignantly reply, “Hey, I’m not THAT much older than Alan and Alwyn (her grandsons), you know!” Lol, just goes to show I’m really ageing … recently, someone claimed to have found a white hair on me! My dearest dad started getting white hair in his early forties, but because he was a builder he had the perfect excuse. “Oh, I had to climb up to the ceiling and paint it white,” he’d explain. “But some white paint dripped from the ceiling and dripped onto my head!” Me? I suppose I’ll just have to grow old gracefully … XD

Physio is still the bane of my existence; unfortunately, I’ve been moronic enough to totally stack it twice already. The first time, mother was around but the second time she and my dearest dad had gone for walkies and I was hardly gonna ring them and screech help I’ve fallen over and can’t get myself back upright! Turns out some good DOES come from all those countless sessions of blasted physio I ensure week in, week out; I merely went from down on my butt to two-point kneeling, from two-point kneeling I stuck out my ‘good’ leg into one point kneeling and then while bracing my ‘good’ hand against the sofa shoved myself back upright – and stayed upright, woo hoo!

Still looking for work – can anybody please offer me properly-paid, seated work? Like I’ve said before, I’ll do ANYTHING – provided I can do it whilst seated and it gets me properly paid; I’ll even wash toilets! Unkind mother cruelly jeers at me that nobody’s gonna wanna employ someone as disabled as me to wash toilets; I suppose I’m just trying to convey to you how desperate I am to get off the bloody disability pension and start contributing back to the society mother jeers at me that I currently leech off. *sigh* I’ve only got one functional hand to type with but the last time I checked, I type at 31 WPM with 100% accuracy.

This year, I’ve started playing table tennis in Windsor! Obviously, I’m not talking about the Windsor over in the UK; did you know, there’s actually a Windsor in Brisbane! After I enquired about me trying it out, mother asked CODA to find a carer and take me there. The only requirement’s that you’ve gotta have some sorta mental impairment; as far as I’m aware, I’m the only one with a physical disability who uses a wheelchair. Most are non-verbal although I know one’s got Down’s Syndrome but she’s high-functioning. It’s good fun and some of those players are competitive – like, I lob/bat the ball gently over the net to my opponent and SMASH! My opponent smacks the ball straight back at me! “Eep!” I squeak, raising my bat in defence quickly; luckily, my delayed reflexes are still fast enough to successfully return the ball. The carer who drove me to table tennis (because obviously, I’ve lost my driver’s licence post brain-injury) burst into laughter and chortles, “She nearly got you, Em!” I glare at her and retort back to her, ‘“Nearly’ being the operative word. Now, just for that cheek, you can go fetch the ball for us, ball girl.” XD

Anyways, excited to be turning another year older soon!

Next post here … maybe one about how I got that alumnus award at school last year?

Until then~

 

Birthday Wishlist 2023

 Usually, I post my birthday wish list on the 1^st of March, reminding everyone what presents I’d like for my upcoming birthday on the 20^th, but you won’t believe this: the bloody computer suddenly DIED on the first and wouldn’t turn on! >< Hence sorry this comes six days late, but better late than never, eh? Actually, thanks to mother who immediately bought a new computer and installed it! I’ve not had time to customise it yet though; apparently, it’s 4:27am in the morning when actually it’s just after 1:25pm in the afternoon. XD Anyhow, here’s what I’d like for my birthday, please!

(1)               Books – without fail, I will always be asking for books first. I’ve always loved reading and always will, despite how shamefully slowly I read nowadays post brain injury. The cruel and unfaithful God has taken away enough in my life already; I’ll be damned before I’ll let Him take away my love of reading too! >< My favourite genres are fantasy, science fiction (I’m a Trekkie! ^^) and historical fiction, although I’m willing to give anything bar Mills and Boon a crack. XD Oh, if you read this, Madam Hippo, I’d like the newest book by Phillip Pullman, please! I bought the first one when I came down to Sydney to watch you become famous and a poster of the second one was on the wall of that fancy bookstore where your book launch was!

(2)               Teddy – the other item I’ll always include in my wish lists. All my teddies are loved, and all have names, although I’ll sheepishly admit to owning a John Doe and a John Doe 2. XD Actually, I recently saw Ant Man 2 and I want a plush VEB, please!! Unsure why I’ve not been able to find one online yet, but I suppose it’s because my search engine using skills are inferior; if I can think of it, surely someone’s marketed it already? Veb’s awesome; how many holes do you have? XD

(3)               Pet – unfortunately, I will forever be horribly guilty of the manslaughter (fishslaughter? XD) of poor Silver and Bronze back during the Winter of 2008. I honestly was unaware that goldfish are so feeble that they need a heater in their tank to keep them warm lest they perish from the cold! But it’s been 1.5 DECADES since they went up to heaven and surely, I can be trusted with a live pet again?? If not, I am still waiting for my PET ROCK, Luke MacCourt!! When you first told me about them, I thought you were just pulling my leg but when I went home and Googled ‘pet rocks’ I actually discovered entire WEBPAGES devoted to them! You don’t need to give them food and water like real living pets, but you can give them like different textures to sit on, etc. Luke, I understand you’re very busy being a dad and all; your own dad did tell me that you’d at least made a start on my Minion-themed pet rock by painting it yellow but come on, I’ve been waiting for YEARS … XD

(4)               Outdoors Electric Wheelchair – when the NDIS first came in, a church physio uncle recommended my parents get me a new electric wheelchair because the funding scheme for them would end soon. Once this new electric wheelchair arrived, I very excitedly asked mother was she gonna book our plane tickets back to Hong Kong like, tonight? See, I’ve not been back to Hong Kong for more than ONE DECADE to visit all my beloved family and awesome friends because while in HK, mother and I usually live with her younger sister. Aunty Lai lives on the top of a very steep hill; while in my manual wheelchair, I can wheel and steer myself around just fine when on level ground (however slowly) because I have one more-or-less functioning hand and one more-or-less functioning foot to accomplish that with. Unfortunately, I’m not physically strong enough to wheel myself uphill with, hence for those three weeks when I was last back in Hong Kong, that task fell to my dearest dad and as a result, he hurt his back. That’s when he decided I’d not return to Hong Kong anymore; the parents would take turns going by themselves. You cannot believe how PISSED I was when mother very smugly replied no, since it’s an INDOORS wheelchair only, you’re still stuck here while your dad and I take turns going by ourselves. In that case, I’ve absolutely zero idea why the parents got that electric wheelchair for me, because it’s not like I ever get to use it! Pretty sure I’ve used it fewer times than I have fingers on one hand; what a complete waste of money >< Think it just sits uncharged and unloved alone in the garage … I’m not even sure how much an outdoors electric wheelchair would cost but if it’s very expensive, maybe several people could chip in together to buy me one? Honestly, nearly more than *anything* I wanna go back to Hong Kong to see all my beloved family and awesome friends …

(5)               Frosties – according to me (and since I’m typing this, whatever I say goes XD) every wishlist needs @ least one food item. I’ll stick with what I’ve asked for during the last several years; someone please get me a box of my favourite unhealthy cereal! Usually, mother only feeds me healthy stuff like Weet-Bix, All-Bran and Plus but hey I like my unhealthy food too. Yeah, yeah, everything in moderation, blah blah blah … XD, I’d rather catch up with people over a meal rather than receive material gifts but since the parents (mother particularly) are so hellbent on keeping me socially isolated, how about you contact me first? The parents won’t lemme ask anyone are they free to catchup over a meal for my birthday, but they certainly can’t keep you from asking me am I free! So how about you please ask me first and then I’ll ask them?

(6)               Cheesecake – back for my 30^th birthday, when I’d asked mother please could I buy a birthday cake for my birthday, she’d snapped no way! She hadn’t gotten one for her last birthday so why should I get one? Only when I’d wailed at her that this wasn’t just any birthday but my special DECADE birthday and surely, she wasn’t AWFUL enough to DENY me a BIRTHDAY CAKE did she relent and lemme buy one little *slice* of cake. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for friends who understood the importance of special decade birthdays and the need for cake, I’d have gone without! O_o The next year, after ensuring that mother had a birthday cake for her last birthday did I try asking again for buying a birthday cake. That year, mother refused me again – this year, she said, she was gonna MAKE me a birthday cake! Apparently when you buy one all these unhealthy things like preservatives and what not are added to it? Don’t ask me; I’m not a nutritionist! Besides, I’ve got undoubtedly inferior tastebuds; don’t expect me to notice the different ingredients! Anyways, I ask mother please for a cheesecake, and after I’ve let her gleefully boot me off to bed on the night before my birthday, mother sets off cooking in the kitchen. On my birthday night itself, after dinner, we all sit around the dining table and small slices of my birthday cake are served. We all tuck in, before I venture some feedback. “Um, mother, this tastes interesting … tell me, aren’t cheesecakes meant to be sweet? Why does this one taste SALTY?!”

Mother looks caught out for a second, before she doubles over with laughter and howls her head off. “Oh, I was hoping your inferior tastebuds wouldn’t notice the difference!” She laughs her head off. “See, the recipe says to use UNSALTED butter but since I was already so tired when I started making your cake last night, I accidentally added SALTED butter instead! I was hoping your inferior tastebuds wouldn’t notice the difference, but you caught me out! BAHAHA!!” XD So, yeah: could someone please get me a cheesecake from The Cheesecake Shop for my birthday this year? The last cake I bought from there was for my 24^th birthday; more than ONE DECADE ago! Else there’s apparently another place that sells cheesecakes somewhere near Springwood? Actually, I don’t really care where my birthday cake comes from, as long as I get one and as long as it’s not made by mother. XD

(7)               Minions – I’m presuming that the Despicable Me franchise has ended, after three Despicable Me movies and two Minions movies; after all, all good things must come to an end. Will someone please find me something new to be obsessed over? Until then, I’ll remain besotted with these yellow, jellybean-shaped, hopelessly incompetent little creatures. Pretty sure even the youngest littlelies at BCAC (my home church) knows that Aunty Em loves the Minions! So: more Minions please; BA-NA-NA!!

Hmm … seven things seem plenty enough to ask for; I’m not a spoilt brat like Dudley Dursley who chucked a tanty until his silly parents got him like thirty-eight presents! Just that I reserve the right to add to this list should any other items come to mind~ Again, apologies that this post comes nearly one week late, but now that it’s been published, once you read this post, you are now DUTY-BOUND to go secure birthday presents for me! Get it? Got it?? Good! XD

Cheers,

Em. ^^

P.S. Next post here … prolly my Birthday Reflections for the year … unless I can find the time to write my movie review on Ant Man2! Until then~