Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Five Years (Take Two)



The last time I wrote a blog post entitled ‘five years’, it was a sad one, describing how it had been five years since the cruel and unfaithful god had so wantonly destroyed my life with the disabling brain tumour then just totally abandoned me. However, this time around, ‘five years’ denotes a celebration!
See, today, May the 23rd, marks a whole five years since I was first released from the insane asylum!
Ah, allow me to explain: the ‘insane asylum’ is my pet nickname for the Brain Injuries Rehabilitation Ward (BIRU) of the Princess Alexandra hospital, where I lived, from date of admission to date of release, an insane one year, three months and twenty days!
Actually, I’d better clarify: I did get two weeks back at home over the Christmas and new year period of 2007, and I did demand and threaten the hospital until they released me to spend my momentous twenty-first birthday at home, but my initial date of admittance to the princess Alexandra hospital was February the 3rd, 2007 and I wasn’t finally released from the insane asylum until may the 23rd, 2008! I still remember leaving the ward for the very last time, back on may the 23rd, 2008 and yelling “FREEDOM!!!!” as I exited those locked doors for the final time, to the laughter of the nurses manning the nurses station. XD
Fair enough, life outside hospital hasn’t been a breeze. The cruel and unfaithful god has left my life an absolutely shattered wreck, and to rehabilitate, I endure four sessions of gruelling physiotherapy each week, one of acupuncture, plus anymore random activities that mother demands my attendance and participation at.
At BIRU, meals were kept to a fortnightly menu, well, the hot meals anyway. Somehow, I think I’ll never forget that you get chicken salad every Monday, pork salad every Tuesday, egg and cheese salad every Wednesday and beef salad every Thursday, but I was absolutely overjoyed late last year, when I remembered that the hot meal for one Monday lunch was chilli con carne but not what the other Monday hot lunch was! XD
One of the best things I have enjoyed since being released from the insane asylum is the quality sleep I now get every night. Back when I was hospitalised, sleep wasn’t actually an option, because there’d be the other snoring patients in my room (seriously, whenever the girl in the bed opposite mine snored it was like there was a thunderstorm! XD), nurses coming in at all random hours of the night and doing some noisy nursey duty and just the general fact that I was simply too terrified to fall asleep, because every time I did, the cruel and unfaithful god would send me some terrifying nightmare how I was all alone, disabled, useless and unwanted forever. Now, I’m not sure if those nightmares were sent to me from god, or did he allow Satan to send them to me, but either way, I’m still angry with god because he didn’t do anything to prevent the act. >< It’s like, say you see a little kid standing in the middle of some busy road, with a car zooming towards him about to squish him flat. To save him, all you’d need to do would be to yell, “Kid! Look out!” and the kid would run over to the side of the road and be safe. Yet you don’t act, and subsequently, the car crushes and kills the small child. Now, you could rightly say, “I didn’t do anything. The car ran him over and killed him,” but by doing nothing, and allowing that act to happen, are you not as bad as the car that ran over and killed the little kid in the first place? My point exactly with god. By doing nothing, and allowing Satan to wreck havoc with my sleeping patterns, god is exactly as bad as if he was the one who sent me all those bad dreams.
But I digress. Today is a day worth celebrating! I’d already celebrated over dinner out with the parents, fourth aunty and uncle (those two are randomly over visiting) last night, and tonight, when I hit Garbo with a carer/life coach/support worker/whatever you call them now XD I’ll celebrate again! The lady taking me out tonight is a Jehovah’s witness, and originally I wasn’t sure if she’d celebrate something like that with me, because I know Jehovah’s witnesses don’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas or anything like that, but Annette (the lady taking me out tonight) said that’s a fine reason for celebration, and that they just don’t celebrate anything that’s been commercialised. In that case, I’m hoping mother will leave me enough change in my wallet tonight to buy myself a soft serve cone tonight with which to celebrate with!
So, yes. Today I’ve tried my best to have an awesome day! I had a good laugh when I heard mother describe to my uncle that Weet-bix is like the Australian version of porridge. XD The Garden City Creative Writers group, as always, was awesome, and afterwards, mother had bought me one slice of salami and cheese pizza for lunch! Originally, I’d asked if we could please have lunch together at the Pancake Manor or Toscani’s as celebration for me being released from the insane asylum for a whole five years, but she refused and just bought me one slice of cheese and salami pizza from food court. I tried asking for a chocolate shake made with low fat milk to drink, but again, that was denied and I was restricted to just water. That’s okay, because I’m having a Krusher from KFC for dinner! (the machine had better not be down, else I’ll get really cranky! XD)
So yeah, today I’m having an awesome day and hopefully tonight will be also!
Come tomorrow, though, I really will need to ask for some help from my occupational therapist friends. See, after some hard work, my more-or-less fully functional right hand has taught my uselessly disabled left hand to stick up fingers to denote the number of years I’ve been released from the insane asylum! See, my left hand stuck out her pointer for one year, did the peace sign for two years, etc. five years today was easy, my left hand just opened wide! However, come next year, the sixth year, I’m really going to need some help. See, in Cantonese culture, the number six is denoted by sticking your thumb and your pinkie out, while your other fingers remain closed. Currently, with my idiot left hand, I can only move my pinkie if I move my ring finger first. Meaning tomorrow, I’ll be asking my OT friends, “is there any way you can please teach my pinkie to come out by itself?” that’s my aim for May the 23rd, 2014!

Next post here … either the movie review of the latest Star Trek movie I saw with Uncle Slam last Saturday, else the play review of the play I saw with mother at the Logan Entertainment Centre last Thursday! Righteo, until then~
Cheers,
Em. ^^

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