life mottos

from 1992 to 2004, my motto in life was just 'study study study'. not very hard, considering i didn't get any homework until grade five, and back then, homework was just one page of work for the week that could be completed within ten minutes. :P life was cruisy! XD
for 2005 and 2006, my motto in life wasn't exactly study study study, but more like STUDY STUDY STUDY! XD my word of advice to anyone considering tertiary study was, "do whatever you want, but don't study law. seriously. coz when you study law, you have to do so much reading for homework, i swear, you will have words coming out of your ears!" like, i'd be studying for an exam, and my mother would wander over and say, "em, how come there's a sentence floating out of your ear?' and i'd reply, "yeah, mum. chapter five, paragraph four, line three, sentence two, the first word." XD
after god absolutely wrecked my life by giving me a brain tumour, my motto in life was 'just keep plodding'. for those who are musically inclined, stick the notes C, G, F# and G onto the syllables. :P
technically, i'm still living by that motto. each night when i collapse into bed, too buggered out to start fearing that i'm gonna be forced to walk again the next day, i just tell myself, "well, em, tomorrow's another day to try your hardest to improve your mobility and not fall to your death."
however, when this year rolled around (and wow, we're already more than halfway through it!), i developed a new motto for life: I WILL RISE ABOVE THE HATE.
what hate? well, simply, the hatred god has shown to me when he decided to totally ruin my life by giving me a brain tumour and leaving me profoundly disabled.
sometimes, when i get really frustrated, i tell god that he won't win. he may have won everything else already, but i won't let him win the battle where i try to make my life as good as possible for me. mother will jeer @ me every now and again, "you can't win god. who are you to try and win god? you're asking to get fried by a lightning bolt." lol, well, guess what? i'm not looking to win. god can win, if that's what he wants. i'm just looking to hang in there, because i haveta hold fast to the belief that one day, god will get bored of me and turn his wrath onto one of the quadrillions of people in the world. surely, he can't hate me forever. and then i will be free to regain the shattered shards of my life, such as he has left of it. and i cannot wait for that day! i often wonder how long it will be before god gets bored of me and turns his hatred onto someone else. @ first, i hoped that five years would be enough, but it's been just over four already, and it's looking like five years won't be enough to deflect god's hatred of me onto someone else. that's okay. i'll just keep persevering (and keep plodding! :P). maybe ten years'll do it. one can but hope. we have that much, @ least. it never hurts to hope. it may be stupid to hope too fancifully (like, i've given up asking for my electric wheelchair and walking stick anymore), but it can't hurt just to hope. i still have that, @ least. :)
next post here ... well, i never got around to typing that post about disability parking permits, did i? else, it's the monthly bookclub on next thursday! righteo, cya then~
cheers,
em. ^^